5 Heavy Metal Artists I Wish would Make a Children’s Record

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

In 2016, I interviewed a ton of rock mamas who made children’s music — from big name rockers like Amy Lee of Evanescence and Priscilla Ahn to kid-music-genre mainstays like Laurie Berkner.

But I couldn’t help but wonder, as my kids and I jammed out to each of these ladies’ records, what would an Axl Rose children’s album sound like? Or one by Ozzy Osborne?

And so I arrive at this list: The five heavy metal artists whom I wish would make a children’s record:

1. Alice Cooper. The shock rocker and “Trash” talker in eyeliner (and dad) would definitely have my attention if he wrote an alternate version of “Poison” with lyrics that touched on the dangers of drinking tonics in the medicine cabinet (or breaking into Dad’s pillbox and downing his cholesterol medication).

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Rockmommy Lita Ford

2. Slash. The lead guitar virtuoso with the killer black hair would bring legions of toddlers to the Hair Metal Nation station if he recorded an electric-guitar version of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and planted a face-melting spider-solo (whereupon his fingers crawled down the neck of the guitar) at the end of the song. No doubt his sons would be jamming out to this tune, too.

3. Lita Ford. The mother of metal (and two grown boys) shreds with the best of them, and sings with the best of them, too. Who wouldn’t love to hear “Kiss me Deadly” reimagined with PG-rated lyrics that 4-year-olds could enjoy? Let’s see … “I went to the play date last Saturday Night … didn’t get to play, got in a fight. Oh no! It ain’t no big thing!” 

4. Glenn Danzig. Deep down, Mr. D. is definitely a mama’s boy (I mean, c’mon, he has a song called “Mother,” right?). I’d love him to turn that “Mother” song into a kid-friendly version so 5th graders everywhere could sing, “mama? Do you wanna bang heads with me?” Or maybe he could try rewriting the lyrics to Lucifuge’s “Long way Back from Hell” so kids would hear his big voice atop a cool, dive-bomb guitar tune?

5. Sepultura. We need more gravelly death metal vocals in children’s music, because they pay homage to Cookie Monster. And they help children who aren’t aspiring to be Adele have more realistic goals (e.g., to sound like Cookie Monster). Brazilian heavy metal band Sepultura, who wrote one of my favorite records (Chaos A.D.) and has another tour coming up (how they’ve managed to survive with all those lineup changes is beyond me) is well positioned for this kind of project.

Did I miss any good ones? I’d love to hear any other ideas for a heavy metal children’s album, so please post in the comments and thoughts below.

— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.

Rockmommy Priscilla Ahn on Life and Making ‘La La La’ — a Collection of Hip Folk-Pop Tunes for Children (and Grown-ups Too!)

There are so many great children’s records out today that it’s hard to cut through the noise, even for an established songstress.

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Priscilla Ahn, whose latest album ‘La La La’ has little listeners in mind

True to her signature style, pop-rock singer-guitarist Priscilla Ahn, an artist known for her low-key melodies, opted for the quieter route. Her first children’s record ‘La La La’ is a refreshing and pretty 12-song collection, curated to the ears of her youngest music fans — a group that now includes her 1-year-old son!

Listening to Priscilla — whether her latest record or other songs —  evokes so many emotions. Her lovely, etherial, and powerfully subtle vocals take me back to my childhood days of running through fields of flowers, while simultaneously conjuring memories of so many old favorites of the 1990s Lilith Fair era.

We recently connected with Priscilla, whose record dropped on October 28, to learn more about the creative process and inspirations that fueled her writing — and how she channeled her own childhood experiences into her latest release.

Rockmommy: Have you always wanted to make a children’s album? Had you connected to past children’s albums, or is there a particular children’s album that inspired you?

Priscilla Ahn: When I made my first EP, with my song “Dream” on it, a lot of my friends who had kids told me that their children loved listening to it, and to that song in particular. It surprised me, because the song is a little sad, and definitely wasn’t intended for kids. And it made me think that maybe one day I could write songs for kids that had some more complex emotions in them. I love Harry Nilsson’s “The Point” album! It’s another album that’s kind of intended for kids, I think? But the songs are sonically mature so adults love it too.

Rockmommy: Lyrics for some of your ‘adult’ songs are sometimes complex, sophisticated and unexpected. Did you find you has to work to “pare it down” — or simplify your message — for a younger audience?

Priscilla Ahn: No, not really! I realized that kids can connect to so many more deeper emotions than just “happy” and “sad.” And a lot of my songs that I’ve written come from a vulnerable, at times “child like” part of myself. So in a way, this children’s album isn’t too far off from any of my “normal” albums.

lalalacoverRockmommy: Are there any tracks that are inspired by specific experiences?

Priscilla Ahn: Well, all of these songs were written before my son was born. “Forever & Forever” is one I wrote when I was 4 months pregnant. I was thinking of him and of all the fun things we would do together, and then looking further into the future of when I would have to one day let him go and grow up in ways without me. “Dust Bunny” is a song for kids who might be afraid there’s a monster under their bed, or in their closet. When I was little I was always afraid of something under my bed! This song is basically reassuring the listener that there are no monsters under there, just dust bunnies who want to play.

Rockmommy: Some moms who play music like you look for ways to share that with their little ones. Do you play a lot of music for your son, sing to him, or try to get him involved with music in any way?

Priscilla Ahn: I’m really going to try my best to not pressure him into anything. But I did buy him a bunch of cute shakers and bells that he picks up whenever a song comes on the speakers that he likes. And he has a ukelele with his name on it, ready and waiting. I sing to him constantly, and sometimes we sit at the piano together. I kind of try to see what music gets him going. It’s really interesting to see which specific songs he loves. His whole face will light up when they come on.  Right now “Baa Baa Black Sheep” by Caspar Babypants, and “If You Wanna Sing Out, Sing Out” by Cat Stevens are his favorites!

Rockmommy: How has parenting affected your craft? Is the music you make different, or have you had to alter your creative process in any way?

Priscilla Ahn: I have yet to really get back into songwriting yet. But I’m curious to see what I’ll create next, and what experiences I’ll pull from when I write.

Rockmommy: Do you have plans to tour in support of this album?

Priscilla Ahn: I’ve performed in Tokyo, Osaka, San Francisco, and Los Angeles this year to promote this album. It requires so much more energy and focus now to prepare for a show because I have to take into consideration traveling with a baby, and people to help me look after him while I’m working. Traveling with a baby is challenging, but manageable. But throwing work into the mix just makes it exhausting! And I don’t think I could bear being away from him to tour. So I think I’ll stay local now for a little while.

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.