Family-friendly Pirate Band Reminds us it’s ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ on September 19

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

There’s a day for everything these days — from ‘Donut Day’ to ‘Polar Bear Plunge Day’ to (I kid you not) ‘Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.’ And apparently, on Wednesday, it’s ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day.’

I can think of a few days I’d like to experience, like ‘Have Your Spouse Wash the Kids Day’ or ‘Play Guitar as Loudly as You Want While Your Kids Sleep Day’ but alas, that’s not in the cards for 2018. But talking like a pirate on Wednesday? That could be pretty fun … at least for your kids.

And now, courtesy of Tom Mason & The Blue Buccaneers, who recently released their fifth family-friendly pirate album, is this handy little cheat sheet/guide for pirate speaking.

 

Tom Mason TLAP Poem

P.S.: Digital editions of If You Want To Be a Pirate: Songs for Young Buccaneers are available now for a few doubloons, from Amazon, iTunes, and direct from the captain’s quarters. Physical CDs are available on September 7th, in time for the band’s fall performances.

Kentucky_Pirate_Festival_2018_by_David_Vail_10

Tom Mason and The Blue Buccaneers

Getting Emotional Over Rockstar Dave Grohl’s Daddy Moment

David Grohl is a rockstar in every sense of the word. I learned this firsthand when I finally got to see the Foo Fighters last night at a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden. He growls, yelps, roars and plays guitar like a motherf*cker — he also drops plenty of F-bombs, which is OK for him because, you know, he gets paid to drop them. It’s part of being Dave Grohl (I’ll try to remember that next time I feel guilty for cursing at my son’s daycare).

I could write a prolific review of his band’s sensational performance last night, a set that spanned the band’s 23 years of making music. But you can fetch a well-written review on plenty of other sites like this one.

[RELATED: Johnny Clay of Ants Ants Ants Discusses Making Music and ‘Soaking it All In’]

Instead, I’ll touch on what I found to be the most heartwarming part of the Foo Fighters’ performance: Daddy Grohl inviting his 12-year-old daughter Violet Grohl onstage to sing backup for several new songs: My favorite, by far, “The Sky is a Neighborhood”:

It is abundantly clear that Grohl is over the moon for his oldest little girl — between the hugs and his constant praise of her performance (he called her “the shining light and love of my life” during Monday’s set at MSG!). And it’s also pretty clear that she looks up to him, curse words and adult reminiscing of stoner days be damned. They had this funny exchange in the second half of the 2.5-hour set, where she was rolling her eyes at him, and he was embarrassing her with praise.

Here she is on the big screen:

IMG_1455

Violet Grohl, singing backup for the Foo Fighters on 7/17/2018

As a mom, I can only hope things are this great when my kids are 12!

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.

Cheri Magill’s ‘Tour Guide’ Chronicles Day-to-Day Adventures in Motherhood

Cheri Magill and I have nothing in common.

That was my first impression when I encountered the songstress mama of three with the sunniest disposition and pretty retro dresses. Sure, we’re both breeders who write our own music. But I’m the blonde bad girl in a miniskirt — not the wholesome angel-in-a-coffeehouse with a voice that takes me back to Sarah McLachlan’s “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” days. There’s no way her new album about moms is going to relate to my me, right? 

As it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

Cheri Magill’s latest record “Tour Guide” — which she wrote to fill the void of songs about moms — is insanely on point. And while I’m a work-at-home mom with just two kids in tow who doesn’t go to church, this album resonates with my mother experience in so many unexpected ways. 

Literally every lyric on this album had me going “yes, yes!” My favorites included “Crazy” — I slave away to make a meal that you refuse to eat/When I put it all away you tell me you’re starving — and “Still,” which reminds me that even though I’m imperfect and say the worst things to my kids once in a while, I’m still human and my little ones love me. 

Cheri Magill_3_ photo credit Brianne Heiner

Cheri Magill (Photo credit: Brianne Heiner)

Lesson learned? Don’t judge a book by its cover (or a mom of three by her headshot). 

Rockmommy recently sat down to chat with Cheri about her new album, which drops May 4 — just in time for Mother’s Day. 

Rockmommy: You’ve been a musician all your life and a mom for 12 years! How did this album come about? 

Cheri Magill: Once I had my first baby I took him to a gig, but I didn’t feel like I could do a lot of performing and gigs when he was little, so I stopped doing music. I just pulled away for a while. It was kind of sad, and when I went to a concert it would make me a little sad that I’m not doing it anymore. But after I had my third child and she got a little older, I started having more windows of time. So when I started writing again, I wanted to write about motherhood — there are 50 billion songs about love, but there are so few songs about mothers and their kids.

Rockmommy: How old are they? Boys? Girls? 

Cheri Magill: I have two boys and a girl —10, 8, and 4. The no-diaper thing is incredible.


Rockmommy: How do you find the time to make music now? 

Cheri Magill: For a while I would try to squeeze things in, but really nothing was happening. So I really had to say, ‘OK I’m going to get a sitter for a couple of hours a week. This is a real thing and important to me and I’m going to do it.’

Rockmommy: But do you still play in your house? 

Cheri Magill: If the sitter is at my house, I’ll go to the library or go to our church even. 

Rockmommy: Can you tell me about your music time with your kids? Do you jam with them? 

Cheri Magill: I’m just starting to get into that. My kids — my sons — aren’t super into music — my second kind of is. But my daughter, she loves it. She’s always like, ‘mom, can you teach me some piano?’

Rockmommy: Any plans to tour with this album? 

Cheri Magill: I just did a big concert for everyone in my church and that was fun. I really love house concerts. I’d much rather play to 20 or 30 people in a home and talk more and share more personal things. 

Rockmommy: What’s your favorite track on this album? 

Cheri Magill: My favorite is probably ‘Tour Guide’ itself — I love the idea that I get to show my kids the world. When I get down about something, I think about how I get to show them what cookie dough tastes like, show them a place they’ve never been.

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy. 

Learning The Imperial March for my Little Sith Lord

One of the coolest things about being a mom is sharing parts of yourself with your kid. For me, that’s a love of writing, music, and running. I take my kids to the track, let them play my instruments and tell them stories I make up in my head every night.

Every year, I get to play a cool gig for my sons’ preschool. Now that Nathan’s in elementary, I only played one set for Logan’s school this year, but it was perhaps the most fun I’ve ever had.

I handed out shakers and kicked off my set with “The Wheels on the Bus,” followed by the theme song for “Paw Patrol.” But the best part had to be putting on a stormtrooper mask and rocking out to the “Imperial March” with Logan wearing his Darth Vadar mask and sitting right beside me.

IMG_0200

A true mommy & me moment, if I may say so myself .

I can’t take complete credit for this idea, however. I learned how to play this song from Andy at the Andy Guitar YouTube Channel. Rock on, Andy! And thanks for the great lesson.

MILF & DILF: Brooklyn’s Most Charming Rock-n-Roll Duo

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

One of the greatest things about love is that it spurs creativity. Brooklynite and personal trainer Sharissa Reichert and her artist/musician hubby G.F. Newland (“Gerry”) embody the idealized vision of having a band with your lover. Shortly after falling in love five years ago, the single parents of grown sons created MILF & DILF — a cabaret-punk-style/keys-washboard duo that dispatches tons of blunt but beautiful music that is as eclectic as the New York City borough in which they dwell.

band Milf and Dilf, musicians, Morbid Anatomy museum. Gowanus Brooklyn NY

MILF & DILF

We recently caught up with Sharissa (MILF) to find out what’s next for the band. Read on and feel inspired on Valentine’s Day — or any day, really:

Rockmommy: So. MILF & DILF’s been doing this cabaret mom-and-pop/antifolk thing for a while now. How would you describe the music you make with Gerry?

Sharissa Reichert: Screw Wave or Art by Misadventure. But, deep down our music really ’60s punk, because Gerry is into ’60s music and the Beatles and I am into punk. Some people compare us to the band Suicide, but that is way too flattering, although we may be as screwed up as those guys.

Rockmommy: Could you tell us about the songwriting process?

Sharissa Reichert: DILF is a brilliant songwriter. It is almost annoying that he writes a song about EVERYTHING. When we are at home I say to DILF (Gerry)  ‘Gee, honey I am glad you liked the dinner I made or the sex we just had — you wrote a song about it!” There are also many songs written about my butt. We both write the lyrics and come up with the song ideas, and I write a little bit of the music. “Rendalsham Forest,” our classic UFO hit, was created when I was just goofing off, banging on the washboard, and imitating Siouxie and singing about a famous UFO case. The rest of the song fell into place. “Charmless” was written when Gf and I had a big fight about an ex-boyfriend of mine being in town. We were so mad at each other in the Studio and wrote “Charmless” on the spot in 10 minutes. It was one of the Golden Moments in ROCK. The video of that songwriting moment is on our Facebook page. I wrote the song “VD” about Gf asking me to be in an exclusive relationship.

Rockmommy: What’s it like balancing a band with your partner, parenting your son and step son, and working as a personal trainer? What advice do you have? 

Sharissa Reichert: Only a sick mind would attempt such a feat LOL. I love my job — I am probably at the top of my field as a personal trainer for with a focus on seniors and special needs clients and recently expanded into selling exercises equipment online through a website called Plazah.

I have an online essential oils store though Young Living, and am sending out other trainers to clients and training an assistant.

Our Adult offspring live next door to us, they are roommates. Our kids and my son’s girlfriend are over all of the time. We have these big family dinners together where my son and I cook. It is very fun and cool to have the youngsters around.

Being a couple and in the band is fine, we each have a role. I do all of the promotion and booking and DILF does most of the songwriting and our fliers. Our very intense chemistry shows through on stage I think.

How do I get through this all? I am into Buddhist meditation with the SGI USA group. I got the advice from a Buddhist perspective to bring as much humanity as I can into everything I do. People ask how do I do it all, the answer is by Chanting and Buddhist meditation. You also need to take the time to refresh, take an occasional nap, get enough sleep, eat properly. I also have a wonderful Massage Therapist Lindai to help me with the physical stress of work. Being in good shape helps too. DILF is also my running partner. It’s kind of embarrassing though, because I am a professional exercise instructor but he kicks my ass at running!

Rockmommy: You and DILF married in October. Has anything changed, musically, as a result of going to the next level of commitment?

md 1

Washboard player and singer Sharissa Reichert of MILF & DILF

Sharissa Reichert: There is really no difference now that we are married and the commitment and the officialness of us. We are getting older, I mean how many more people do you need to date at a certain point, I mean really? We have been together five years and we are such a good match.

Rockmommy: What are your plans for 2018? 

Sharissa Reichert: We are recording our first album “Live from the MILF-ferd Plaza” this year. I am hoping Dean Ripsler, who used to be in Karen Black and the Dictators, will produce us.

We are gigging at Arlene’s Grocery with wonderful YOU, ROCKMOMMY, on Sunday, May 6, 2018. Even Twice is also on the bill for that night. We want to expand to out of town gigs too.

— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy

Why my Goals Are Better than Serious Rock-n-Roll Resolutions

by Marisa Torrieri

New Year’s Resolutions have become a bit of a cliche. Overly ambitious declarations destined to fail most of the time.

Still, I start every year thinking, “OK, this is it! This is the year I play guitar for an hour a day every single day no matter what. And if I don’t, then I’m lazy. Now GO!”

And then life happens. This week, two unexpected life events threw off my post-NYE ambitions:

1.) I cut my pinky finger while slicing vegetables for dinner, an event that led to lots of gushing blood, panicked cries of “Oh my God, Oh my God,” and a trip to my local urgent care center. By the end of the night, I was banned from washing my kids or doing anything that would get my now-surgically-glued-together pinky.

IMG_3977

The finger I sliced open on Jan. 2. Two hours later, it was surgically glued back together. Yay!

2.) The weather decided to move up its plans to deliver four inches a foot of snow and an obnoxious amount of post-apocalyptic winds to New England. This led to school cancellations, which forced me to cancel my highlights appointment (my biggest, and very occasional, indulgence), and start to fret about spending a whole day at home (did I mention I didn’t exercise Wednesday? Now I’m missing two days of exercise this week! UGH! I hate that!).

Then I look at the broader picture. I’m a mom and a wife, a skilled musician and freelance writer who gets regular gigs. I teach guitar, I tutor writers, I help my older son with his homework. I’m also an aunt and a granddaughter, a sister-in-law. I have more friends than I can count.

In 2017, I played five original shows (including one with Grandma’s Mini, my band in DC, plus three solo shows and one cover-band gig). I got an article published in Guitar World magazine. I posed for a zillion photos, looking like a 20-something. We expanded our house. My family’s health is good. I have so much to be grateful for.

By setting goals that are reasonable, not forced like resolutions, we can accomplish so many things. Better than that, we can accomplish these things without feeling bad, like we failed.

So today as I sit in my house, and the blizzard whirls around outside, I’d like to try to make 2018 the year of patience: I’d like to be more patient with my children, more patient with circumstances I can’t control (like the weather), more patient with my spouse, and more patient with my progress — not just as a person, but as a musician, writer, runner and traveler. I’d like to think that things we are putting off this year (like a trip to Disney World) will come later, so I needn’t be envious of my peers.

Perhaps I can channel my energy into gratitude, instead.

Marisa Torrieri is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.

5 Heavy Metal Artists I Wish would Make a Children’s Record

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

In 2016, I interviewed a ton of rock mamas who made children’s music — from big name rockers like Amy Lee of Evanescence and Priscilla Ahn to kid-music-genre mainstays like Laurie Berkner.

But I couldn’t help but wonder, as my kids and I jammed out to each of these ladies’ records, what would an Axl Rose children’s album sound like? Or one by Ozzy Osborne?

And so I arrive at this list: The five heavy metal artists whom I wish would make a children’s record:

1. Alice Cooper. The shock rocker and “Trash” talker in eyeliner (and dad) would definitely have my attention if he wrote an alternate version of “Poison” with lyrics that touched on the dangers of drinking tonics in the medicine cabinet (or breaking into Dad’s pillbox and downing his cholesterol medication).

8eabfcaf95b1c554462f62ed19d0e6ea

Rockmommy Lita Ford

2. Slash. The lead guitar virtuoso with the killer black hair would bring legions of toddlers to the Hair Metal Nation station if he recorded an electric-guitar version of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and planted a face-melting spider-solo (whereupon his fingers crawled down the neck of the guitar) at the end of the song. No doubt his sons would be jamming out to this tune, too.

3. Lita Ford. The mother of metal (and two grown boys) shreds with the best of them, and sings with the best of them, too. Who wouldn’t love to hear “Kiss me Deadly” reimagined with PG-rated lyrics that 4-year-olds could enjoy? Let’s see … “I went to the play date last Saturday Night … didn’t get to play, got in a fight. Oh no! It ain’t no big thing!” 

4. Glenn Danzig. Deep down, Mr. D. is definitely a mama’s boy (I mean, c’mon, he has a song called “Mother,” right?). I’d love him to turn that “Mother” song into a kid-friendly version so 5th graders everywhere could sing, “mama? Do you wanna bang heads with me?” Or maybe he could try rewriting the lyrics to Lucifuge’s “Long way Back from Hell” so kids would hear his big voice atop a cool, dive-bomb guitar tune?

5. Sepultura. We need more gravelly death metal vocals in children’s music, because they pay homage to Cookie Monster. And they help children who aren’t aspiring to be Adele have more realistic goals (e.g., to sound like Cookie Monster). Brazilian heavy metal band Sepultura, who wrote one of my favorite records (Chaos A.D.) and has another tour coming up (how they’ve managed to survive with all those lineup changes is beyond me) is well positioned for this kind of project.

Did I miss any good ones? I’d love to hear any other ideas for a heavy metal children’s album, so please post in the comments and thoughts below.

— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.