From monster boogies to mommy love songs and loud concerts galore, 2018 brought us lots of great rockin’ fun. And plenty of wisdom.
Here, we share the best advice from rockmommies and rockdaddies featured over the last 12 months on this blog.
“Don’t lose yourself in being a parent. If you want to be in a band, go for it. Because you need to have some sort of outlet for yourself. If you can have time for yourself, that makes you a better parent.”
“As parents and musicians, we like to think we’re really cool, but kids are kids and have their own taste. Don’t force them to listen to Velvet Underground. Let them listen to Disney.”
The Ramoms — Cori Ramom, Jodi Ramom, Sharon Ramom & Ginger Ramom — are playing several shows in Philly, Brooklyn & Staten Island this Fall.
“I know that sometimes as mothers, we feel guilty and selfish when we take time out for ourselves. Making my music and self-care are musts for me. I have to do both in order to come back and parent more fully, more present, and fulfilled.”
“I’m an extreme example of where singing silly songs with your offspring can go … the songs [my daughter and I] created came from everyday activities.”
“I think the best way to write a song for kids is to listen to what they are saying, watch what they’re doing, and think about what they enjoy. Then use those things as inspiration to develop songs that are relevant and interesting to them. And try singing the songs with them while you’re writing them! You’ll see right away what works and what doesn’t.”
“How do I get through this all? I am into Buddhist meditation … I got the advice from a Buddhist perspective to bring as much humanity as I can into everything I do. People ask how do I do it all, the answer is by chanting and Buddhist meditation. You also need to take the time to refresh, take an occasional nap, get enough sleep, eat properly.”
“I think having a schedule is important, a set time when you show up for writing, maybe in a specific place. It doesn’t have to be for a long time. Just something to keep you from getting rusty.”
“For a while I would try to squeeze [practice] in, but really nothing was happening. So I really had to say, ‘OK I’m going to get a sitter for a couple of hours a week. This is a real thing and important to me and I’m going to do it.’”
band Milf and Dilf, musicians, Morbid Anatomy museum. Gowanus Brooklyn NY
“Every other year, starting in 2013, I write a song a week (so 2013, 2015, 2017 and next year 2019). This has really helped me to break out of the “only writing when I felt inspired” habit. It’s forced me to sit down and focus on being creative, which was alien to me. Now, regardless of how I am feeling, I can sit down and start the writing process and get myself into that creative space without having to wait for it to appear magically. It’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised. That has really helped with my musical and creative discipline.”
“Obviously as a mom you want to spend as much time with your kids as you can. But motherhood is also about being someone your kid to look up to. It’s not just about the quantity of time, but about you giving an example of being a more authentic version of yourself.”
Most kids these days learn how to play “guitar” by playing their parents’ ukuleles, or strumming off-key notes on a cheap plastic instrument featuring animated characters. But while wielding these would-be guitars makes for cute Instagram videos, much of the time, kids playing with them aren’t actually learning how to play guitar.
I would know. I have two sons ages 4 and 6, and about one zillion videos of them aimlessly strumming my ukulele. And does either one of them know how to play guitar? Unfortunately, the answer is a big, fat “no.” They both think it’s too hard.
Loog Guitar (shown here in red)
What I’m describing is actually a common scenario in the households of musician parents with the best intentions for their offspring, according to Rafael Atijas, founder and CEO of Loog Guitars.
“There are ukuleles, and they’re great but they’re not guitars,” Atijas told Rockmommy. “And then there are other guitars that are cheaply made and come apart.”
In creating Loog Guitars just three years ago, Atijas’ intention was to design something that would be fun, stimulating, simple to play and easy to learn. The result is a bold, cool-looking three-string guitar that’s easy to play. Strings are made of nylon, not metal, and are easy to push down. Designed for ages 3 and up, the Loog is the ideal, personalized “starter” axe. And it’s so fun to play that even adults like it.
We recently caught up with Atijas, who is now a father of two, to talk about why the Loog line of guitars — which start at about $60 — are a solid investment for burgeoning rockers.
Rockmommy: So how and why did Loog get started?
Rafael Atijas: I saw the same gap that you saw. There are ukuleles, and they’re great but they’re not guitars. And then there are other guitars that are cheaply made and come apart. So I thought, you know, what if there were a guitar that was fun to play, easy and stimulating? So we made a guitar with three notes in its most basic form (GBE strings). At first [the guitar] had open tuning, with more of the lower strings. But then we decided that for [kids] to learn, it was good to have standard tuning.
Loog Guitar Founder & CEO Rafael Atijas
Rockmommy: Can you tell us about your background?
Rafael Atijas: I’m a musician – I was in a band when I was younger. I created Loog guitars when I was working on my master’s at NYU, because I wanted to do something related to music. It’s a business, but it’s inspired by the fact that I play guitar and am a musician. When I came up with the guitar idea, I didn’t have kids yet but I had a niece. It was up to me to teach her the basics. And I realized then, because she was 6 at the time, that you can’t teach kids on these [bad] guitars, or even 3/4 size guitars. The six strings is too overwhelming when they’re that young.
Rockmommy: What was the response from music teachers and the parents?
Rafael Atijas: Music teachers have been very responsive, which is great, because as you know, some guitarists can be music snobs … there are some kids that can play out of the box with a standard guitar, but 90 percent of kids can’t. In fact, 90 percent of people who learn to play guitar quit. So we are trying to solve that in a way that makes people want to graduate to a standard, six-string guitar. For a five-year-old, six-year-old, eight-year-old, [starting with a Loog guitar] makes it easier for them to learn guitar. We have many music schools using our guitars. Even smaller guitars, like ¾ guitars, are just more difficult – and it’s easier to grasp three fingers than six fingers. We even have some adults using our guitars.
Rockmommy: What about the argument that it’s better to start with something harder?
Rafael Atijas: I started with bass guitar – which was something harder – but we’ve found that when learning guitar it’s better to have some sense of accomplishment, or mastery [built in].
Rockmommy: What about your own children?
Rafael Atijas: I have a three-year-old son and he loves it. My six-year-old girl likes it when I play, but I try not to push it on my children. If you push it on them, they will see it as something they are being forced to do. One of my kids is really into music, and the other is, just a normal amount.
Rockmommy: What’s your advice for parents?
Rafael Atijas: Be aware of the music they like. As parents and musicians, we like to think we’re really cool, but kids are kids and have their own taste. Don’t force them to listen to Velvet Underground. Let them listen to Disney.
For a limited time, Rockmommy readers get a 10 percent discount off their Loog Guitar purchase [Use the code ROCKMOMMY at Checkout].
With her eye-catching red hair and spectacular, soaring vocals, New York City siren Collette McLafferty was one of the most sought-after Big Apple singers in the early 2000s, when she transplanted to the city and founded her indie band edibleRed.
And while her story never ended in sold-out arena tours on the level of Lady Gaga, she got a lot further than me and most of my peers. At the band’s peak, around 2004, edibleRed was a staple of Lower Manhattan nightclubs and a favorite of the MTV Buzzworthy crowd.
But shortly thereafter, the music industry started to favor teen pop singers over gals strumming guitars. After shedding tears over the end of an era (and her band), Collette decided to pursue session work, and was invited to join several lucrative cover bands. It wasn’t original music, but for a singer in her mid-30s in a super-competitive marketplace, it was a pretty sweet life that paid the rent.
Collette McLafferty’s new memoir “Confessions of a Bad, Ugly Singer” is out now.
In 2014, when Collette was asked to sing for a P!NK cover band on a temporary basis by a seemingly nice guy named Rik who’d auditioned for edibleRed years before, it seemed like a no brainer. A short-term freelance project with no strings attached. But then the guy’s lawyer buddy (Charles Bonfante) got wind of the project and filed a lawsuit to the tune of $10 million, claiming Collette co-conspired to steal his idea for a Long Island P!NK tribute band. [You can read the actual lawsuit by clicking here].
The 112-page lawsuit caught the attention of media outlets like the New York Post — but that only seemed to make things worse. Although the lawsuit was riddled with insults against Collette for her voice and appearance, it never mentioned Collette’s age (she was over 30, which was ancient for pop stars). Still, click-bait headlines like “Singer Sued for Being Too Old and Ugly” dominated the search engines.
Embarrassed and angry, Collette was determined to fight this off, clear her name and rise above the naysayers — ultimately to prove that a woman doesn’t have to stop singing the minute she turns 30 (or 40, or even 50).
Four years later, Collette’s determination has exceeded her own expectations. In addition to becoming one of the most vocal advocates against frivolous lawsuits, Collette’s penned a memoir about her experience, and racked up tons of new EDM singing gigs. Oh, and she’s working on a new album out, too, called “42.”
I recently caught up with Collette in Manhattan to chat about the insanity of what she now calls “P!NK Tributegate,” and some of the lessons she hopes to pass on from that crazy experience. Her memoir, Confessions of a Bad Ugly Singer (New Haven Publishing) is out now, and it’s incredible. [Rockmommy reached out to Mr. Bonfante on Friday morning at 11:30 a.m. regarding this memoir. He said he had “no comment” for this article].
I read the book in two sittings, and identify with everything Collete talks about— the ageism and the sexism that’s inherent in the music industry as well as the beautiful opportunities that lie ahead if you open your mind to what’s possible.
Here, Collette herself tells it better than anyone else:
Rockmommy: When you first came to New York and started performing, what were your biggest fears and about making it as a musician?
Collette McLafferty: To be honest, I was pretty fearless when I first started. I was a rock star in my head; it was only a matter of time until everyone knew it. My biggest fear was that I would get signed and shelved or critically panned (the latter became true). Other then that, I was convinced I would be a rock star. Oddly, I’m glad that didn’t happen because I had so many life lessons I needed to learn. To be fair, a lot of musicians in the New York music scene had that mindset. We all thought we were on the verge of blowing up. You kind of had to think that way, as the scene could be cutthroat sometimes. This was back in the day when record labels had more power and we actually needed them. There was no YouTube, no Spotify. You couldn’t make a music video on your cell phone. As I started getting into the industry on a larger level, I noticed the values I was asked to embody didn’t line up with the real me. I was told to never have a female-fronted band open for us or make sure to cleverly disguise my real age in interviews.
Rockmommy: You talk in your book about how your music was a big hit in the early 2000s when every label in the country wanted to sign alt-rock girls with guitars. When did you realize the tides were turning, with the resurgence of teenage pop music?
Collette McLafferty: The Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys paved the way during the Lilith Fair era, but Britney [Spears] changed the game. Her sales went through the roof in a way the industry had never experienced before. During the wave of angsty female pop, edibleRed was just getting started. Labels were looking for bands like us to ride the wave of Alanis Morissette, Jewel, Tracy Bonham, Garbage, and No Doubt. By the time we were ready to go pro, the industry changed overnight. I remember watching Melissa Etheridge, Paula Cole and Shawn Colvin give an award to Christina Aguilera. You could see the changing of the guard right there on TV. It happened in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, the same executives who told me I was young and promising at 26 were now informing me my time had passed. The women who dominated commercial radio in the late ’90s completely vanished. Rock bands were dropped by their labels en masse. It felt like an apocalypse of sorts. As new female artists got younger, women my age started to get shamed for existing. This wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. I was used to seeing rock stars on their thirties, forties and beyond.
New York City singer Collette McLafferty’s memoir, “Confessions of a Bad, Ugly Singer” chronicles her journey from gawky adolescent to MTV and the lawsuit that almost destroyed her.
Rockommy: Can you talk about your feelings in transitioning from edibleRed to gigging in cover bands? You describe some pretty powerful emotions when one of your bandmates got married, as the end of an era.
Collette McLafferty: To this day, I am so embarrassed that I couldn’t stop crying at [my drummer] Tom’s wedding for all the WRONG reasons! Everyone in the band was growing up in a way that I wasn’t. They were moving on to bigger bands, 9-to-5 jobs, spouses and kids. I was obsessed with edibleRed and making a career out of the band. It never occurred to me that the band might not take over the world. I had put every egg in this basket for 10 years and didn’t have much of a life outside the band — edibleRed WAS my life. I worked on the band morning, noon, and night. I realized I had to let everyone move on to their new chapters even if I felt left behind. We had many milestones: we played for 10,000 people, had our 15 minutes on MTV Buzzworthy and got a record deal — but the industry was going through a shake up. We weren’t hitting the big time, and we couldn’t keep living the starving artist lifestyle. It was time to grow up and I didn’t want to. Dave Eggar (a former edibleRed cellist who now tours with Evanescence) gave me some pretty solid advice. Even though we flopped on a commercial level, just getting signed and having a record come out was a win. He convinced me to leverage the experience for a solo career or session career down the line. He was right. Once our cover of “Hey Ya” got its lightening-fast nod from MTV, booking singing work was a breeze. I sang on commercials, records at weddings and in cover bands. I was constantly booked. There was only one thing I loved more then singing. That was singing and getting paid.
Rockmommy: Your name was dragged into a lawsuit over a PINK cover band, and although you had never met Chuck [Bonfante, the guy who sued you], the fact that you were called a co-conspirator was shocking. As the case dragged on, were there moments you thought it would never end?
Collette McLafferty: During the two years of litigation I felt as if my life was on hold. My happiness was on hold. My sense of peace was on hold. My sanity was on hold. In the beginning, I thought I would go to court, the judge would laugh and it would be over. At first I thought every court date would be the last court date. The lawsuit was so stupid, I couldn’t imagine the court system allowing it to continue to take up space. I didn’t realize that a court case could take years. Because I was sued by a lawyer representing himself, he had the power to keep me in the system indefinitely. I have spoken to people who have been in cases for ten years! It’s insane. The sense of not knowing when or how it would end drove me to some pretty dark places. I would start my day with a cup of coffee walking down the street and having an actual out-loud conversation cursing out Chuck! It wasn’t pretty. When I realized it could be a years-long battle, I started day drinking and telling every Lower East Side bartender about my troubles. Imagine the top 5 most stressful days of your life. Now imagine those 5 days elongated to 2 years. It felt like hell on earth.
Rockmommy: Do you regret your decision to reach out to the New York Post because of the way they interpreted your story and used an unflattering and inaccurate headline to drive “clicks”?
Collette McLafferty: I don’t regret calling the New York Post at all! Chuck painted me into a corner. He initially wouldn’t let me out of the case even though I had done nothing wrong. I missed my first filing deadline because I didn’t know what I was doing. By the time I got representation, my lawyer asked Chuck for an extension to answer. Chuck denied it and told Martin (Kera, my first lawyer) that it was because of Rik that I found myself in the “unenviable position of being in his cross hairs” and that if I thought getting sued once was inconvenient I would “certainly hate a second lawsuit for defamation of character” due to the fact that Rik was trashing him on Facebook. He basically admitted in writing that he was going after me because of someone else’s actions.
At this point there is no way out. Calling the press was an absolute necessity, it definitely wasn’t something I wanted to do. I was six weeks into litigation and my legal bills were over $3,200. I was also living in construction and Chuck’s case was delaying my move. I asked Martin if I should go to the press. Martin and I agreed that if we got the case a quick blurb in the paper, Chuck would drop it. We were right. A couple hours after the New York Post ran the bogus headline “Singer Sued for Being Too Old and Too Ugly For P!NK Cover Band”, Chuck called Martin to drop it. This was after 6 weeks of sheer torture from a man who made it clear he wanted to keep me in the system.
I was initially very grateful to the New York Post for this. Chuck had a stipulation: he wanted me to sign a nondisclosure and act as if nothing happened. When I insisted he pay my legal fees and damages, he offered half!! Out of self respect I had to decline and fight this to the end. I was actually shocked that they took the angle they did because the real story was more interesting.
Rockmommy: If you could swap another headline for that one, what would it be?
Collette McLafferty: Disclaimer: I am not a headline writer, but I’ll give it a shot:
“Two men in their 50s fight over a P!NK Tribute Band after Elder Fraud Investigation by Chase Bank”
“Rik and Chuck: the real life Steel Dragon.”
“Personal Injury Attorney Bludgeons Cover Band Singer with Legal Fees” (from my lawyer Martin)
“Grown-ass man and personal injury attorney refers to former best friend, bandmate and client as a ‘sleazy crony’ in 112-page legal document.”
“Two Men Fight Like Tiny Toddlers”! (My favorite,from an actress named Corbette Pasko).
Rockmommy: What is the biggest silver lining in this whole lawsuit? Is it Collette’s Law? A sense of empowerment in the #metoo era?
Collette McLafferty: I think the silver lining is that I’m not dead. Statistically, I was supposed to crumble. I was supposed to lose and get clobbered. I took on a lawyer, major media outlets and The Trial Lawyers’ Lobby. The upper echelons of the music industry turned its collective back on me by refusing to acknowledge any of this happened. While I could see many people supported me, it felt like the world was against me. I felt suicidal, but stayed alive because I had two senior rescue cats to feed. They needed me and that was enough. I had always hoped that P!NK Tributegate would have some epic ending …. Chuck would publicly apologize, P!NK would finally make a statement, Collette’s Law would pass…someone would make a Lifetime for Women made for TV movie… none of those things have happened yet. So the desire to live is my happy ending. Beyond that, many people know a whole lot more about the legal system then they did before as a result of my case. I definitely feel empowered.
The “me too” movement goes way beyond sexual assault. Women have been “mind assaulted” by a certain sector of the mainstream media for decades now. Eating disorders wouldn’t exist without the endless berating, age-and-looks shaming we have experienced endlessly, day after day. The New York Post headline “Singer Sued for Being Too Old and Too Ugly for P!NK Cover Band”, represents an outdated view of women, one that we are not tolerating anymore.
Rockmmommy: Are you gigging again? What are your plans now that this whole ordeal is over?
Collette McLafferty: I started working on a pop/electronica album called “42” back in 2015. When I was about 90 percent done, I was hit with another round of legal fees. It completely derailed the project, so I am hoping to finish that soon. My passion right now is studio work, so that is where my focus will be. My dream is to move somewhere dirt cheap, build a studio and make music all day. Over the last few years I have been working as a vocalist in the EDM scene. I’ve worked with producers all over the world, most of them I have never met! I’m looking forward to taking that to the stage when the time is right.
I’m going to debut a couple songs at The Parkside Lounge on Oct 17th! I will be reading a couple chapters from “Confessions of a Bad, Ugly Singer” and playing some songs that are mentioned in the book. It will be me and a guitar and a couple of friends on stage with me. I have thought about potentially turning “Confessions of a Bad, Ugly Singer” into a musical. There has also been some very early interest in a potential movie, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. If there is anything I have learned, plans are fluid. Nothing ever turns out exactly as planned, so I am trying to keep an open mind as to what the next chapter entails!
Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.
The Green Orbs’ music is infectious and silly, as in laugh-out-loud silly — and that’s exactly what the band, made up of brother-sister duo Heather Hirshfield and Eddie Rosenberg III, want you to do. Don’t believe me? Just watch the carnival-worthy “Mr. Mustache,” and you’ll agree. We sat down with Hirshfield, a piano teacher and mom of three, to get the scoop on the band’s upcoming release, Thumb Wrestling Champions (out September 7).
The Green Orbs
Rockmommy: You have an amazing musical background! What did you listen to growing up?
Heather Hirshfield: I listened to a wide variety of music growing up. My parents had a really cool domed-top deco record player and a huge collection of records and 45s that we listened to on a daily basis. The Beatles were very popular in the house, but we also listened to Billy Joel, Paul Simon, The Beach Boys, Beethoven, Mozart…..gosh, really so many great artists and composers to list! When I received my own record player as a present, I listened to a lot of musical soundtracks like Grease and Annie, and also Disney storybook records. My sister and I loved to put on The Monkees and dance around our room. We really were constantly listening to music. Music was, and continues to be, a huge part of my life.
Rockmommy: Before the Green Orbs, did you play other music? What was that like?
Heather Hirshfield: As a kid, I played piano, and played marching trombone in the marching band. I enjoyed both immensely, but I gave both up when I went to college which in hindsight was a huge mistake. After having my children, I started playing piano again and remembered how much I loved it. I did not really perform anything, though, until my brother and I started The Green Orbs.
Rockmommy: I read a bit about how you and your brother got started — can you tell me about how your latest collection of songs came about? Was there an inspiring idea/theme?
Heather Hirshfield: Our new album “Thumb Wrestling Champions” is the end result after many, many years of work. We were just writing different fun songs over the years, until we realized we had enough for an album! There is no overarching theme, but many of the songs were inspired by my girls, either through stories that I told them when they were little, or by something that they may have said.
Rockmommy: Let’s talk about video for a second. In the era of YouTube, having a video that connects to your audience is super important. How do you come up with the concepts for the video? Do you and Eddie sit around and brainstorm? Do you seek feedback from little ones on what connects?
Heather Hirshfield: We have been talking about videos a lot for this album! We haven’t had a brainstorm session specifically for videos … we just share ideas as they come to us. Personally, OK Go’s videos have been a huge inspiration for what is possible in a music video and I hope one day to be able to create a video as epic as theirs! As far as feedback, our niece and nephews are our sounding board right now.
Rockmommy: What are your most popular songs? is there a particular age group that connects with your music?
Heather Hirshfield: We have played some of our songs from the album for school children and “Doug the Bug” is always a huge hit. “The Suction Cup Shuffle” is also well-liked because it gets everyone up and dancing. We also have a group of songs in the YouTube Audio Library, and an instrumental song called “Splashing Around” that my brother wrote is hugely popular!
I think that kids 3-12 will really enjoy “Thumb Wrestling Champions,” but, of course, we hope that anyone who listens to it will enjoy it!
Rockmommy: You have three daughters! How old are they? What are some of the challenges you have with balancing motherhood and making music and everything else?
Heather Hirshfield: My girls are now 18, 16, and 13, and it is still a struggle finding time to do anything! I am so fortunate to be able to work out of my home as a piano teacher and musician for the last few years so I am here when they need me. On the other side of that, though, I really had to work on setting boundaries with them and letting them know that I can’t drop everything to get them a snack when I am working on something on the computer. It was also hard for me to realize that what I was working on was important and that I didn’t have to be at my kids’ beck and call constantly.
Rockmommy: What advice do you have for other rock n roll playing mommies (and daddies)?
Heather Hirshfield: My advice would be to always do what you love and remember that it is important that your kids see that you are passionate about whatever it is that you are doing, whether it be work or a hobby, so that they will have the desire to go out and find their own passions.
This month, Rockmommy talks to rocker dads about music and work-life balance. Here, we chat with Gunnar Madsen about his new projects (including a new video co-created by his 15-year-old son) and parenthood.
Rockmommy: What do you love best about being a dad?
Gunnar Madsen: I love working on being a better dad all the time. The idea that there is no end to parenting used to scare me – in school or in work, every project has a due date, or a production, or has a finished product. But the growth of a child is never-ending, it presents constant new challenges, things I could never have imagined. And the learning goes on and on, no due date, no completion. That’s an amazing teaching to get ahold of.
Rockmommy: Tell me about your latest musical project, “I Am Your Food” — how did it come about?
Gunnar Madsen: I’ve been a stay-at-home dad for all of my son’s school years (he’s 15 now). Parenting took up much of my time, but in spare moments I dreamed of my next album, and I had the idea that it could be about food (which I love). I wrote some of the songs from this album over the course of many years. It’s only in the past 2 years, as my son matured and required less of my time, that I was able to focus on bringing this album to fruition – finishing up the writing of the songs, recording them, and preparing to launch the project.
Rockmommy: Has your music changed since you became a dad? If yes, how so?
Gunnar Madsen: I think the things I’m learning from fatherhood, like patience, generosity, and a greater awareness of myself and who I am, are coming through in my creative life. I’m still writing funny, sometimes goofy, songs, but I sense a different spirit in them.
Rockmommy: What’s it like trying to balance music with parenthood? Are there other factors in the mix — e.g., time with a spouse or partner, a day job to pay the bills, etc.? Is your partner involved in the music project?
Gunnar Madsen: The main shift in my music career came when our son was born. It was not reasonable to go on tour and leave my partner at home alone with the care of a baby. And I didn’t want to be away, — the gravitational pull of fatherhood kept me at home. I continued performing locally, but over time my desire to perform diminished. I found that I was happiest just writing music at home, and left the stage. Luckily, being a stay-at-home composer and a stay-at-home dad work pretty well together. My partner is not involved in my music – she’s has a store she runs with her mother, antiques and fine things for the home and such, which has paid the bulk of our bills over the past years. But I trust her opinions very much, and share everything I’m working on with her to see what she thinks.
Rockmommy: What’s your advice to other rockin’ dads?
Gunnar Madsen: If you’ve got to rock, you’ve got to rock. It’s not like I made a decision to become a musician. It was a calling, a fire burning inside, that wouldn’t allow me to do anything else. It has maybe saved my life, it’s a joy, and it’s also caused a heap of trouble and pain. I can imagine a whole lot of easier ways to get through life, but this is the only way I know how to do it 🙂 In the end, I’m grateful for having such a passion.
— Marisa Torrieri is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.
Camp Crush, the musical incarnation of husband-wife duo Jennifer Deale and Chris Spicer, pushes out powerful, soaring, synth-driven pop-rock songs with such conviction that you’d think they’d been doing this forever.
But as it turns out, when they burst onto Portland, Ore., music scene ten years ago, they were a pared-down folk-music act with a large local following. They could have continued on like that indefinitely, but a few years ago, something shifted. “I started getting really into synth and pulling in vintage pads, old patches, and new iPad patches,” Jennifer recalls.
Shortly thereafter, the decision was made to let go of their old project and create Camp Crush.
And while every musician remakes herself now and then, staying relevant and migrating an established fan base to a new sound — while raising two young children — wasn’t an easy feat. Jennifer felt out of balance and overwhelmed as she struggled to juggle a full-time job at a high-tech company with family life, music, and learning the ropes of parenthood.
The decision to let go of the day job wasn’t an easy one, but for Jennifer, it was absolutely essential to her entire being. In putting motherhood and music first, everything shifted, and today she parents two kids (a son and a daughter) and creates music with refreshing zeal.
In March, Camp Crush premiered “November Skin,” the first track off their brilliant EP She’s Got It (out May 18) which gives me serious nostalgia for my college goth-club nights.
Recently, Jennifer sat down to chat with Rockmommy on rebranding her sound, being a mom and living your truth.
Camp Crush
Rockmommy: So let’s talk about the evolution to Camp Crush. How did this come about?
Jennifer Deale: So Camp Crush is my husband and I and we’ve been playing music together for 10 years and we obviously fell in love and started out playing music, and have done it in so many iterations — we had a folk band for a while, a blues band for a while — but Camp Crush is the band that we’re most connected to, that’s what’s most authentic to us. Chris has been a drummer since he was five, I’ve played piano since I was five. I started getting really into synth and pulling in vintage pads, old patches, and new iPad patches, and we’re trying to play these… and it was getting to a point where we’re like, ‘we’re folk but we’re 80s synth too.’
Rockmommy: Was the rebranding hard?
Jennifer Deale: So we took a month off and rebranded everything. It was really hard because we do most of our stuff DIY so it was all about working crazy long on weeknights and doing Photoshop and making a music video. We lined up a brand new website, brand new merch, and did everything to get ready for our [debut]. You have to apply for Facebook to change your page, so once they flipped the switch, we went live with our new band.
Rockmommy: What was that like?
Jen Deale: It’s really cool because we spent so much time being intentional in what we wanted this band to look like and sound like. Taking that time off to focus on all of those pieces was great. As a musician I just want to think about the music, but from a fan’s perspective … I want the whole package. We put out a single called “Take me Back.” Then we did a follow-up single called “Hometown Glory.”
Rockmommy: So How do you do it all? And you’re a mom to grade-school-age kids, right?
Jennifer Deale: We cancelled our Netflix a long time ago. Before I went full in the music thing, I had a big corporate job in Amazon. And I got to the point where I was like ‘I can’t pursue music to the level I want to pursue it and do this job.’ Being a mom is my priority — it’s a huge part of my day. So when I left my day job I was like, ‘I’m leaving a lot of money behind.’ But it’s a dream to get to do music. It’s a lot of late nights and we read Harry Potter and they go to bed at 8, and Chris is like ‘alright, what do we have to do?’ Chris will look at the calendar and go, ‘we have a free day on this day — we’re going to go on a day trip.’ We know there are big corporate jobs we could go back to, but this feeds us.
Rockmommy: I didn’t realize you’d have to give up so much to do this.
Jennifer Deale: Yes, absolutely. But I chose to be a mom. What am I trying to teach my kids in life? To take the most secure path? Or to follow your dream? It has been a lot less secure and a more of a scrappy lifestyle, but I see my kids a lot more.
Rockmommy: What inspired the subject matter in your music, your latest songs?
Jennifer Deale: As a woman in the music industry, I’ll play a show and with three or four bands on the bill and I’ll be the only female onstage the whole night. And ‘November Skin’ was inspired by an experience after a show, when a man pulled me aside and said, ‘I really think you’ve got it!’ And then he went on to tell me things I should improve on to get further into the music industry. So I wanted to talk about this unrealistic expectation of people for women to be something specific.
Rockmommy: How do your kids respond? Are they into music?
Jennifer Deale: I think the kids are understanding all of these things … but they don’t necessarily think it’s super cool what I do. My kids both go to an arts-focused elementary school. They both sing and do the school choir. But my daughter is a visual artist, and my son is a coder. And that’s cool. Music is definitely part of our everyday life — we have pianos everywhere — it’s part of the essence of our home. I know when I was their age, you couldn’t pull me off the piano! My kids aren’t like that about music but they are like that about art and technology.
Rockmommy: What advice do you have for other musician or artist parents?
Jennifer Deale: Obviously as a mom you want to spend as much time with your kids as you can. But motherhood is also about being someone your kid to look up to. It’s not just about the quantity of time, but about you giving an example of being a more authentic version of yourself.
Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.
That was my first impression when I encountered the songstress mama of three with the sunniest disposition and pretty retro dresses. Sure, we’re both breeders who write our own music. But I’m the blonde bad girl in a miniskirt — not the wholesome angel-in-a-coffeehouse with a voice that takes me back to Sarah McLachlan’s “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” days. There’s no way her new album about moms is going to relate to my me, right?
As it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Cheri Magill’s latest record “Tour Guide” — which she wrote to fill the void of songs about moms — is insanely on point. And while I’m a work-at-home mom with just two kids in tow who doesn’t go to church, this album resonates with my mother experience in so many unexpected ways.
Literally every lyric on this album had me going “yes, yes!” My favorites included “Crazy” — I slave away to make a meal that you refuse to eat/When I put it all away you tell me you’re starving — and “Still,” which reminds me that even though I’m imperfect and say the worst things to my kids once in a while, I’m still human and my little ones love me.
Cheri Magill (Photo credit: Brianne Heiner)
Lesson learned? Don’t judge a book by its cover (or a mom of three by her headshot).
Rockmommy recently sat down to chat with Cheri about her new album, which drops May 4 — just in time for Mother’s Day.
Rockmommy: You’ve been a musician all your life and a mom for 12 years! How did this album come about?
Cheri Magill: Once I had my first baby I took him to a gig, but I didn’t feel like I could do a lot of performing and gigs when he was little, so I stopped doing music. I just pulled away for a while. It was kind of sad, and when I went to a concert it would make me a little sad that I’m not doing it anymore. But after I had my third child and she got a little older, I started having more windows of time. So when I started writing again, I wanted to write about motherhood — there are 50 billion songs about love, but there are so few songs about mothers and their kids.
Rockmommy: How old are they? Boys? Girls?
Cheri Magill: I have two boys and a girl —10, 8, and 4. The no-diaper thing is incredible.
Rockmommy: How do you find the time to make music now?
Cheri Magill: For a while I would try to squeeze things in, but really nothing was happening. So I really had to say, ‘OK I’m going to get a sitter for a couple of hours a week. This is a real thing and important to me and I’m going to do it.’
Rockmommy: But do you still play in your house?
Cheri Magill: If the sitter is at my house, I’ll go to the library or go to our church even.
Rockmommy: Can you tell me about your music time with your kids? Do you jam with them?
Cheri Magill: I’m just starting to get into that. My kids — my sons — aren’t super into music — my second kind of is. But my daughter, she loves it. She’s always like, ‘mom, can you teach me some piano?’
Rockmommy: Any plans to tour with this album?
Cheri Magill: I just did a big concert for everyone in my church and that was fun. I really love house concerts. I’d much rather play to 20 or 30 people in a home and talk more and share more personal things.
Rockmommy: What’s your favorite track on this album?
Cheri Magill: My favorite is probably ‘Tour Guide’ itself — I love the idea that I get to show my kids the world. When I get down about something, I think about how I get to show them what cookie dough tastes like, show them a place they’ve never been.
— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.
