Got 7 Minutes? Learn to Play Moana’s ‘Shiny’ (and Make Your Kids Happy)

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom 

Moana is one of my favorite movies to watch with my kids — and, heck, even other peoples’ kids. A big part of that is the soundtrack, full of singalong tracks written the brilliant Lin-Manuel Miranda of Hamilton fame.

Profile_-_Tamatoa

The crab Tamatoa, as seen in the 2016 Disney film “Moana” (aka, the greatest Disney movie ever made).

I spent a good part of last summer playing the soundtrack in my car on repeat, and me and the little men would belt out the songs.

Our favorite, by far, was “Shiny” — the anthem sung by the scary crab Tamatoa. 

The best part about this song is that it’s not too hard to learn — the chords are simple and pretty much anyone who knows how to play basic open chords (and a few power chords) can play along. And so I’ve created a short video tutorial here for Rockmommy readers. Enjoy!

PS: Chords and lyrics below the video. Warning: Chord formatting will vary by device, so listen to the song to get the timing right.

SHINY (written by Lin-Manuel Miranda for the 2016 Disney film “Moana”)

VERSE
Em / Am / Em /
Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam
Am / Em /
I was a drab little crab once
Am / C /
Now I know I can be happy as a clam
D / Em /
Because I’m beautiful, baby

Am / Em /
Did your granny say listen to your heart
Am / Em /
Be who you are on the inside
Am / C /
I need three words to tear her argument apart
D /
Your granny lied! I’d rather be…

CHORUS
G /
Shiny
C / G /
Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck
C D
Scrub the deck and make it look…

G /
Shiny
C / Am /
I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck
D /
Just a sec! Don’t you know
Em / C
Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb
/ Em / C /
They chase anything that glitters (beginners!)
Em / C
And here they come, come, come
/ Am /
To the brightest thing that glitters
D
Mmm, fish dinners

/ Eb
I just love free food
Eb
And you look like seafood (seafood)

VERSE
Em /
Well, well, well
Am / Em /
Little Maui’s having trouble with his look
Am /
You little semi-demi-mini-god
Em / Am /
Ouch! What a terrible performance
C /
Get the hook (get it?)
D / Em /
You don’t swing it like you used to, man

Am / Em /
Yet I have to give you credit for my start
Am / Em /
And your tattoos on the outside
Am / C /
For just like you I made myself a work of art
D /
I’ll never hide; I can’t, I’m too…

CHORUS
G /
Shiny
C / G /
Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough
C D
Strut my stuff; my stuff is so…

G /
Shiny
C / Am /
Send your armies but they’ll never be enough
D /
My shell’s too tough, Maui man,

Em / C
you could try, try, try
/ Em /
But you can’t expect a demi-god
C /
To beat a decapod (look it up)

Em / C /
You will die, die, die
/ Am /
Now it’s time for me to take apart
D /
Your aching heart

BRIDGE
Eb Bb Eb Bb
Far from the ones who abandoned you Chasing
Eb Bb
the love of these humans
Eb Bb
Who made you feel wanted
C Dm
You tried to be tough
Eb F
But your armour’s just not hard enough

Bb
Maui
G#
Now it’s time to kick your hiney, ever seen someone so…

CHORUS
G /
Shiny
C / G /
Soak it in ’cause it’s the last you’ll ever see
C D
C’est la vie mon ami, I’m so…

G /
Shiny
C / Am /
Now I’ll eat you, so prepare your final plea
D
Just for me
Eb
You’ll never be quite as shiny
Eb
You wish you were nice and…
G
Shiny!!

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor of Rockmommy. 

Finding Gratitude in Playing Solo Shows When You Don’t Have Time for a Band

By necessity — for lack of time and resources — I’ve defaulted to the category of “solo” artist. And in November, I’ll bring my one-woman act (Marisa Mini) to two venues: Branded Saloon in Brooklyn, and The Lumberyard in Redding, CT.

In some ways, this is a blessing. It’s also the way I started, and the way many (if not most) of us start playing music. Flying solo, I have the ultimate flexibility in my set list: If I feel like playing an old tune from 2003, I can pay it. If I want to play the tune with a cool reverb effect, I don’t have to run this by anyone. Ultimately, it’s my decision to go with the reverb. Or with the flanger, etc.

I have complete creative control over wardrobe, too: I can’t tell a bassist to wear a sexy leotard (I wouldn’t do that anyway, but still!). If I’m feeling like a leotard, I’ll put one on. Or if I’m just in an Vans-and-jeans mood, that works, too.

Yet as thrilling as it is to play a set that I control, there’s something lonely about the prospect of playing a solo show. Especially because I know how wonderful and fun it is to collaborate with other musicians.

If I have more time by myself, I can get into a self-critical mode, second guessing my song choices or even whether or not I can hit notes in my head voice. Also, without the live sounding board of a band, I don’t know if the set arrangement I’ve considered represents the right choice.

The vibe of a solo show is different from the vibe of a full-band show — and this kind of sucks sometimes. I don’t want to be a “coffeehouse girl” — I want to be a full-fledged rock and roller! But the sole act of playing guitar all by myself, only accompanied by a microphone and an amp, screams “coffeehouse girl.”

There’s also something terrifying too. When you’re playing with a band, the entire team shares the blame when a mistake is made. Because if you sound shitty, it doesn’t matter if it’s because the guitar is out of tune or the drums are ill-timed with the bass.

When you’re solo, you are the one who is credited for your amazing pipes or clever lyrics. But you’re also the one who is frowned upon when you play the wrong note.

I can no longer blame “the drummer” if there isn’t a drummer to blame!

The bottom line is that I simply don’t have time for anything else but a solo show. I don’t have time to search high and low for musicians, or to even drive to a rehearsal space that’s more than 10 miles in from my home. I don’t have time to argue with bandmates about how a set should or shouldn’t be arranged. I only have time to finesse my guitar chops in the comfort of my own home, and to sing when no one is listening.

But I can promise you this: I play an engaging and sonically inspiring set at both my Brooklyn and Redding shows this month. I know this because I’m practicing my tail off, sneaking in guitar-fingering exercises ever hour or so, while my kids are in preschool.

So I hope to see some of you there!

Saturday, November 5

8 p.m.

Branded Saloon, Brooklyn, CT (with the Girls Rock & Girls Rule Crew)

Saturday, November 19,

8 p.m.

The Lumberyard, Redding, CT (with Catalina Shortwave, Fuzzqueen, and others)

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.

Get Rockin’ Legs in 5 Minutes with this Lunge-A-Palooza Workout

You probably already know how great lunges are for toning your legs and improving your endurance. But did you know they can also improve stability, core strength, and balance, too? If time is a problem (and it probably is, if you’re a parent), our resident rock mama and Brooklyn, N.Y.-based personal trainer Sharissa Reichert, who sings and plays washboard for Milf & Dilf, has you covered.

This month’s three-minute video, named in honor of the Lollapalooza music festival that began in the early 1990s and recently celebrated its 25th anniversary, is all you need to strengthen those quads and work on your core. The best part? You can do anytime (like when your kid naps) and pretty much anywhere. Also, in case you missed it, check out her 5-minute ab workout, featured last month on Rockmommy.

Disclaimer: These exercises are not intended to replace the guidance of your physician or healthcare provider. If you’re starting a new exercise program, be sure to consult your doctor first.

5 Exercises to Strengthen Those Toddler-Carrying, Guitar-Carrying Arms

Rockmommies know all about arms, and the importance of keeping them strong. But even if you’re used to carrying one or two 30-pound tots at the same time (haha!), back pains and strains can come when you least expect them.

To help you improve strength and muscle tone while reducing risk of pain and injury, our resident rock mama and personal trainer Sharissa Reichert, who sings and plays washboard for Milf & Dilf, has created a five-minute video you can do anytime (like when your kid naps) and pretty much anywhere.

Disclaimer: These exercises are not intended to replace the guidance of your physician or healthcare provider. If you’re starting a new exercise program, be sure to consult your doctor first.

Happy workout, mamas!

How to Win a Signed Copy of Kim Gordon’s ‘Girl in a Band’

I love a good rock n’ roll biography, and Dey Street Books, an imprint of HarperCollins, has put out so many of my favorite rocker mom tell-alls! And the most well-written and compelling memoir, by far, is Sonic Youth bassist-singer Kim Gordon’s “Girl in a Band.”

Gordon’s book tells the tale of an aspiring art student with an interesting family and cool friends who, by way of luck and talent, finds her way into the NYC’s 1980s punk- and indie-rock scene.

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Kim Gordon’s “Girl in a Band”

The story unfolds as we are taken into her romance with bandmate Thurston Moore, her journey into motherhood and music, and the unravelling of her personal life years later. It’s a cathartic and beautiful story of a true art-rock visionary.

If you don’t have a copy of GIAB already, now you can win one signed by Ms. Gordon herself!

Dey Street Books will give away one signed copy of “Girl in a Band” to a Rockmommy reader! You can enter to win in one of two ways, throughout the entire month of June 2016:

  1. Like our Facebook page (Go to facebook.com/rockmommy1 and hit the “Like” button)
  1. Post a comment at the end of this blog — either on rock and roll, motherhood, music, Kim Gordon, or life in general — and make sure it includes your name and e-mail address.

We’ll get back to you in July with a winner!*

*Disclaimer (because we have to have these things): Contest is unlikely to change, but subject to change due to unforeseen circumstances. Winner will be selected based on a random drawing of names, and chosen by Rockmommy.

Quickie Workout Moves For Rocker Moms (by a Rocker Mom/Personal Trainer)

Every mom I know has insisted “I don’t have time” when it comes to a million different things — from writing thank-you notes to playing shows to exercising. And I can totally relate! So my trick is to try to squeeze in the extra stuff (like exercising, or practicing my guitar) into the nooks and crannies of my day. I figure it’s better to do something for 10 or 15 minutes than not do it at all — which is a trigger for slacking off completely.

For time-pressed moms like me — and who among the child-rearing set isn’t time-pressed? — my friend, personal trainer and mom Sharissa Reichert, who plays the washboard and sings in the band Milf & Dilf, put together some great “quickie” exercise videos for Rockmommy.

Our first exclusive, 3-minute video takes you through back lunges, ab work tailored to a mama’s post-baby body, and arm toning moves that’ll keep yours strong and sexy.

 

Why Rockin’ Mama — and Team Christina protégée — Alisan Porter Should Win The Voice

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

I got hooked on “The Voice” in Season 2, many years back, and will never forget the anger I felt when rocker Juliet Simms was denied victory. She should have won — critics knew it, her coach CeeLo knew it — but somehow Team Blake’s Jermaine Paul snagged the big prize (of course, Jermaine is a talented singer in his own right, but many of us expected Juliet to win!).

Since then, I’ve gotten excited over a handful of candidates — the standouts in my head are Matt McAndrew (Season 7, Team Adam), Cassadee Pope (Season 3, Team Blake), Michelle Chamuel (Season 4, Team Usher), and, of course, Jordan Smith (Season 9, Team Adam). All were the kind of candidates you just knew, at first listen, would make it to the finals (and they all did!).

I wasn’t planning on watching “The Voice” past the blind auditions this year, but something — rather, someone — captivated me in a way that few other “Voice” contestants have since Juliet Simms. I’m talking about Alisan Porter. Her rich, passionate, vocals are breathtakingly piercing — and utterly inspiring.

As many music and entertainment writers have noted, Alisan’s jaw-dropping vocals on her audition cover of Linda Ronstandt’s “Blue Bayou” — as well as Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby” and Aerosmith’s “Cryin’”– made her a true standout. A one in a million girl — and certainly someone who deserves the title of “The Voice” for the show’s 10th Season.

But while her voice is compelling, so is her personal story.

Alisan Porter’s entertainment career began in 1991, when the now 34-year-old mom of two scored a starring role in the movie Curly Sue. But instead of seeing her acting career take off, years later, Alisan found herself in the midst of alcohol addiction. And while she’s been sober for eight years, most of her energy up to this point has been focused on motherhood and marriage.

Should Alisan nab the victory on Tuesday night, it’ll represent a true comeback for someone who seems to truly deserve a comeback.

Another reason you should vote for Alisan Porter — either by downloading her song on iTunes, or voting for her on The Voice’s home page/app before Tuesday 10 a.m. ET — is that no one else like her has won the show. Finalist Hannah Huston (Team Pharrell) is the 20-something gal who can sing anything (kind of like Cassadee Pope … and dozens of other contestants); and country singer Adam Wakefield, while talented, is  really just another version of Team Blake Season 7 winner Craig Wayne Boyd.

My second choice for winner, Iraqi-American bluesman Laith Al-Saadi, is also a true original — with his bellowing, big voice and out-of-this-world guitar soloing ability. But the show is called “The Voice” for a reason (no offense to guitarists!). A winner should bring something unique to the collective pop-rock vocal soundscape as well as a powerful contribution to the world of popular music.

Finally, it would be nice to see a female coach actually win this thing for once — especially someone as talented and nurturing as Christina Aguilera. The female coaches have the odds stacked against them on this show, since every season has only allowed for one female spot (and, as it looks, one minority spot), while bro-mancers Adam Levine and Blake Shelton remain the big mainstays. As a side note, wild gal Miley Cyrus and R&B piano mama Alicia Keys are sliding into the new judge slots for Season 11, replacing Pharrell and Christina Aguilera, so that should shake things up a bit!

Those of you who don’t follow the show should take a few minutes to listen to Alisan Porter for yourself (just do it before Tuesday!). I’d be shocked if any person, rockmommy or not, isn’t moved by her vocals and her presence.

The Voice Season 10 Final airs Monday, May 23, 2016, at 8 p.m. on NBC. For more on how to vote and download the official app of “The Voice,” check out the show’s home page.

— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is a writer, guitar teacher, mom, and the founder of Rockmommy.