5 Heavy Metal Artists I Wish would Make a Children’s Record

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

In 2016, I interviewed a ton of rock mamas who made children’s music — from big name rockers like Amy Lee of Evanescence and Priscilla Ahn to kid-music-genre mainstays like Laurie Berkner.

But I couldn’t help but wonder, as my kids and I jammed out to each of these ladies’ records, what would an Axl Rose children’s album sound like? Or one by Ozzy Osborne?

And so I arrive at this list: The five heavy metal artists whom I wish would make a children’s record:

1. Alice Cooper. The shock rocker and “Trash” talker in eyeliner (and dad) would definitely have my attention if he wrote an alternate version of “Poison” with lyrics that touched on the dangers of drinking tonics in the medicine cabinet (or breaking into Dad’s pillbox and downing his cholesterol medication).

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Rockmommy Lita Ford

2. Slash. The lead guitar virtuoso with the killer black hair would bring legions of toddlers to the Hair Metal Nation station if he recorded an electric-guitar version of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and planted a face-melting spider-solo (whereupon his fingers crawled down the neck of the guitar) at the end of the song. No doubt his sons would be jamming out to this tune, too.

3. Lita Ford. The mother of metal (and two grown boys) shreds with the best of them, and sings with the best of them, too. Who wouldn’t love to hear “Kiss me Deadly” reimagined with PG-rated lyrics that 4-year-olds could enjoy? Let’s see … “I went to the play date last Saturday Night … didn’t get to play, got in a fight. Oh no! It ain’t no big thing!” 

4. Glenn Danzig. Deep down, Mr. D. is definitely a mama’s boy (I mean, c’mon, he has a song called “Mother,” right?). I’d love him to turn that “Mother” song into a kid-friendly version so 5th graders everywhere could sing, “mama? Do you wanna bang heads with me?” Or maybe he could try rewriting the lyrics to Lucifuge’s “Long way Back from Hell” so kids would hear his big voice atop a cool, dive-bomb guitar tune?

5. Sepultura. We need more gravelly death metal vocals in children’s music, because they pay homage to Cookie Monster. And they help children who aren’t aspiring to be Adele have more realistic goals (e.g., to sound like Cookie Monster). Brazilian heavy metal band Sepultura, who wrote one of my favorite records (Chaos A.D.) and has another tour coming up (how they’ve managed to survive with all those lineup changes is beyond me) is well positioned for this kind of project.

Did I miss any good ones? I’d love to hear any other ideas for a heavy metal children’s album, so please post in the comments and thoughts below.

— Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.

Feeling Gratitude for Guitars, Guys, and Other Good Things

Wow! I can’t believe this year went by, just like that. I feel like it was yesterday when I was making my “resolutions” list (yeah, I still do one every year — totally aspirational and noncommittal), and now we’re on the brink of a new Presidential administration, reeling from the recent passing of Carrie Fisher, George Michael, and a host of other beloved individuals, and feeling equal parts hopeful and fearful.

Or at least I am.

I’m grateful that as I write this, I can reflect on so many wonderful milestones in my sons’ lives, and my life with my husband, friends, and family. Nathan turned 4, and Logan turned 2. The older one can now dress himself and draw pictures, and keeps asking for drum lessons. The younger one is playing soccer and swimming — and spends his spare time singing Bob Marley songs, while armed with my ukulele. Most of the time, I’m feeling an awesome balance between my personal life, and my life as a writer, musician, and teacher.

I’m not going to pretend that some of the more dismal news — like what’s happening in Aleppo/Syria, political discourse, and economic hardships — doesn’t affect my spirits. But I’m also feeling tremendously grateful. Things can always get worse, so it’s important to appreciate what we have.

Wishing you and your family a happy and healthy New Year! xoxox Marisa

What Badass Rocker Moms Really Want for Christmas (and Can Open in Front of Kids)

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

There’s still time to score the perfect gift for the rockmommy (or rockmommies) in your life. We’ve picked the perfect combinations of naughty and nice for singers, guitarists, jazz pianists, drummers, bassists — or pretty much any mom who loves to rock out:

  1. Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick; $21: Our favorite tattoo artist’s line of matte and metallic lipsticks — with names like “Slayer” and “Hexagram” — will make mama feel bad to the bone (and beautiful).
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    Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick

    Blank NYC Vegan Leather Moto Skinny Jeans; $118: Nothing says rock n’ roll quite like leather pants, and this cruelty-free faux leather pair has the edgy look mama wants when she’s toting her toddlers about town.

  3. Drummer Pillowcase; $14.99: With its gorgeous drummer painting motif, this plush throw pillow will inspire anyone to break out their sticks.
  4. NYC Guitar School Online Courses; $50-$119: If she wants to brush up on her soloing skills or learn to riff like Slash but doesn’t have the time to trek across town to the nearest music school, gift her with a pack of online lessons taught by some of the best musicians at world-renowned New York City Guitar School.drummer_pillow_case
  5. Burt’s Bees Baby Organic Plaid Pajama Set; $39.95: Plaid is super punk rock, and can be cozy, too, when she wears these cool PJ’s on Christmas Eve. If you’re feeling festive, splurge for pairs for the whole family!
  6. Pick Punch; $25: Crafty mamas and their guitar-strumming offspring will love this cool pic punch, which lets you make pics out of any old piece of plastic.

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    TASCAM DR-05

  7. TASCAM DR-05 Portable Digital Recorder; $84.99: Help Mom capture every precious sonic moment of your little rocker’s first live show — or record her next gig — with this super-convenient, high-quality recording gadget.
  8. Christina Aguilera MasterClass, $90: Is the rock mama you love an aspiring singer? If so, she’ll love having some “me” time to indulge in 23 video lessons taught by one of the greatest pop-rock singers (and mom of two) of the past two decades.

—- Marisa Torrieri Bloom is a writer, guitar teacher, mom, and the founder of Rockmommy.

The Holiday Gift Guide for Rock n’ Roll Kids

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

This holiday, surprise your budding rockstar with some cool clothes, toys, and other musically inspired pieces.

  1. Hape Melodies Ukulele, $29: If your son likes Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” introduce him to a whole new world of string instruments with this gorgeous red uke, made with non-toxic materials.

819ttlojfwl-1-_sl1500_2. Melissa & Doug Band in a Box; $19.99: This classic, 10-piece musical instrument set is a box of delights for the pre-K set. The kit offers plenty of stuff to shake and make noise with all in one place.

3. Yunko Guitar Cookie Cutter set, $14.52: Your kid will love making cookies with these cutters shaped like acoustic guitars, electric guitars, and music notes.

4. Gells Kids Lightening Bolt Belt, $29: Keep your little rockstar’s pants from falling down while he’s having his big stage moment — or tumbling around the gym — with this lightening-bolt belt (for kids ages 0 to 9). You’ll be doing some good too (5% of the sale of each Gells belt benefits one of the outfitter’s charity partners). Use the promo code FAIRFIELDMOM at checkout (before 12/31) and you’ll receive 20% off! 20161121-gells-103

5. Laurie Berkner “Superhero” record, $9.99 to $12.99: If your 2-year-old hasn’t started jamming out to music by singer-guitarist Laurie Berkner, there’s no time like the present to introduce him to “Superhero,” the latest record — available as a digital download or CD — from the renowned children’s music artist. This CD is a surefire way to get your child engaged with everything from potty time to bedtime (my two sons, Logan and Nathan, cannot get enough of it!).

6. Fisher Price Classics Record Player Musical Toy, $21.99: This colorful, old-school-style record player has plenty of knobs to turn, and will keep your 18-month-old entertained for hours.

7. TOMS Gold Metallic Mary Janes, $39: Let her sparkle onstage in these cute little kickers. Shoes feature a gold foil upper, rubber outsole (for a no-slip grip), and a sock liner that fights bacteria.ptru1-11791817enh-z6

8. Kidz Gear Bluetooth Stereo Headphones, $16.99: When Josephine is ready to rock out to Katy Perry (or the Chipmunks), give her these cool (but child-tailored) headphones, which will help to protect her hearing when she listens to tunes on your iPad, iPhone, or other music player. Available in blue and pink, the headphones also include a patented removable omnidirectional Boom Microphone, ideal for children’s foreign language studies, audio/verbal test-taking at school and more.

 

—- Marisa Torrieri Bloom is a writer, guitar teacher, mom, and the founder of Rockmommy.

Rockmommy Priscilla Ahn on Life and Making ‘La La La’ — a Collection of Hip Folk-Pop Tunes for Children (and Grown-ups Too!)

There are so many great children’s records out today that it’s hard to cut through the noise, even for an established songstress.

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Priscilla Ahn, whose latest album ‘La La La’ has little listeners in mind

True to her signature style, pop-rock singer-guitarist Priscilla Ahn, an artist known for her low-key melodies, opted for the quieter route. Her first children’s record ‘La La La’ is a refreshing and pretty 12-song collection, curated to the ears of her youngest music fans — a group that now includes her 1-year-old son!

Listening to Priscilla — whether her latest record or other songs —  evokes so many emotions. Her lovely, etherial, and powerfully subtle vocals take me back to my childhood days of running through fields of flowers, while simultaneously conjuring memories of so many old favorites of the 1990s Lilith Fair era.

We recently connected with Priscilla, whose record dropped on October 28, to learn more about the creative process and inspirations that fueled her writing — and how she channeled her own childhood experiences into her latest release.

Rockmommy: Have you always wanted to make a children’s album? Had you connected to past children’s albums, or is there a particular children’s album that inspired you?

Priscilla Ahn: When I made my first EP, with my song “Dream” on it, a lot of my friends who had kids told me that their children loved listening to it, and to that song in particular. It surprised me, because the song is a little sad, and definitely wasn’t intended for kids. And it made me think that maybe one day I could write songs for kids that had some more complex emotions in them. I love Harry Nilsson’s “The Point” album! It’s another album that’s kind of intended for kids, I think? But the songs are sonically mature so adults love it too.

Rockmommy: Lyrics for some of your ‘adult’ songs are sometimes complex, sophisticated and unexpected. Did you find you has to work to “pare it down” — or simplify your message — for a younger audience?

Priscilla Ahn: No, not really! I realized that kids can connect to so many more deeper emotions than just “happy” and “sad.” And a lot of my songs that I’ve written come from a vulnerable, at times “child like” part of myself. So in a way, this children’s album isn’t too far off from any of my “normal” albums.

lalalacoverRockmommy: Are there any tracks that are inspired by specific experiences?

Priscilla Ahn: Well, all of these songs were written before my son was born. “Forever & Forever” is one I wrote when I was 4 months pregnant. I was thinking of him and of all the fun things we would do together, and then looking further into the future of when I would have to one day let him go and grow up in ways without me. “Dust Bunny” is a song for kids who might be afraid there’s a monster under their bed, or in their closet. When I was little I was always afraid of something under my bed! This song is basically reassuring the listener that there are no monsters under there, just dust bunnies who want to play.

Rockmommy: Some moms who play music like you look for ways to share that with their little ones. Do you play a lot of music for your son, sing to him, or try to get him involved with music in any way?

Priscilla Ahn: I’m really going to try my best to not pressure him into anything. But I did buy him a bunch of cute shakers and bells that he picks up whenever a song comes on the speakers that he likes. And he has a ukelele with his name on it, ready and waiting. I sing to him constantly, and sometimes we sit at the piano together. I kind of try to see what music gets him going. It’s really interesting to see which specific songs he loves. His whole face will light up when they come on.  Right now “Baa Baa Black Sheep” by Caspar Babypants, and “If You Wanna Sing Out, Sing Out” by Cat Stevens are his favorites!

Rockmommy: How has parenting affected your craft? Is the music you make different, or have you had to alter your creative process in any way?

Priscilla Ahn: I have yet to really get back into songwriting yet. But I’m curious to see what I’ll create next, and what experiences I’ll pull from when I write.

Rockmommy: Do you have plans to tour in support of this album?

Priscilla Ahn: I’ve performed in Tokyo, Osaka, San Francisco, and Los Angeles this year to promote this album. It requires so much more energy and focus now to prepare for a show because I have to take into consideration traveling with a baby, and people to help me look after him while I’m working. Traveling with a baby is challenging, but manageable. But throwing work into the mix just makes it exhausting! And I don’t think I could bear being away from him to tour. So I think I’ll stay local now for a little while.

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy.

6 Ideas for Getting Your Kids to Practice Guitar Between Lessons

by Marisa Torrieri Bloom

The word “practice” is like the word “homework” in terms of how kids will sometimes bristle when a teacher says it, no matter how the teacher says it. But while every guitar student I’ve ever taught wants to sound amazing and impress their family and friends, very few — save for a few teenage prodigies who are now better players than me! — naturally want to put in the amount of work that’s required to make meaningful improvements.

If I had a dollar for every kid who promised to practice an hour a day, and then couldn’t even get motivated to break out their guitar for five minutes between weekly lessons, I’d be able to put a down payment on a new home.

So if you’re a parent, is there anything you can do to get them to pick up their instrument when a teacher isn’t around? Do you need to go the Tiger Mom route and not let your tiny musician in training use the potty until she hits all her notes perfectly?

(We’re kidding about that last suggestion.)

Like any extracurricular activity, playing music is supposed to be an enjoyable endeavor.

With that in mind, here are a few ideas that I know have worked, which will help motivate your young ones to strum when their teacher isn’t around:

  1. Keep things consistent: As you probably know, structure is good for kids, whether they’re 3 and need a consistent bedtime every night in order to wake up well-rested, or they’re 12 and need to get their homework done before 8 p.m., because they’re less productive at night. “It’s easier for kids to settle into a routine when they have a consistent, daily time to practice,” says Michelangelo Quirinale, a guitar instructor at Brooklyn Guitar School, and father of one. “I often recommend practicing right before or after dinner since most kids’ have a lot of homework and after-school activities.”
  2. Have your teacher make a video: It’s easy to forget what you learned after your teacher leaves, whether you’re 6 or 60. I’ve found that one of the best ways to engage kids is to make a short, two-minute video that recaps what I taught during a lesson. I’ll have my students film these videos with my phone, and then send them to their parents. This keeps the lesson fresh in kids’ minds and ensures they’re practicing the right techniques.
  3. Set clear, attainable goals for practice: Sometimes parents expect their children to master an entire Beatles song after just two lessons, while other parents don’t know what to expect. Teachers have a better idea of what’s possible and can work with you to help kids set the right goals. “I usually give most kids three or for key areas to work on that usually include a warmup, a review song, and couple of new songs or techniques,” says Quirinale. “This allows them to cover all the key concepts whether they have five or 45 minutes.”
  4.  Have your teacher give them choices: If students are forced to strum the chords to a song they don’t like, they will start to think of playing their instrument as a chore — not a fun activity. To make sure your kid doesn’t get burned out, check to make sure his or her teacher is assigning them stuff they’ll enjoy doing. Of course, a little nudging might be necessary (they’re kids, after all), but practice should be somewhat fun — not just hard work. “I find that my students that practice the most take an active role with me in planning the practice routine,” says Quirinale.
  5. Try not to apply too much pressure: Maybe your little one is destined to be the next Jimi Hendrix. Or, perhaps he’ll get bored of playing guitar in a year or two. Pushing your child too hard to practice might make him resentful. So if all of these other techniques aren’t working, it may be time to revisit whether guitar is the right choice for an extracurricular activity — or if your kid needs a break for a while!
  6. Buy a guitar stand: If an instrument is stuffed away in a case, it might not occur to a child to pick it up and strum. Buying a guitar stand at a local music shop (or on Amazon Prime, etc.) will give your child a place to put their instrument when they’re done with practice — and reach for it when the mood strikes.

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the founder and editor of Rockmommy. 

Why This Rockmommy Endorses Hillary Clinton for President — But Thinks You Should Hit the Polls for the Other Candidates, Too

OK, OK, I realize I’m not the editor of Atlantic or TIME. And that my endorsement of either presidential candidate isn’t going to nudge anyone to change their mind.

With that, I cannot stress enough the importance of going to the polls — even if you’re not voting for the candidate whom I believe is the obvious best pick: Hillary Clinton.

I could use this time to cite the zillions of reasons why I am voting for Hillary over businessman Donald Trump, but so many other journalists and bloggers have already done this. So I’ll sum it up like this: If you’re a parent, rockmommy or otherwise, you undoubtedly care deeply about issues like education, school safety, gun control, national security and the economy. And while you might still be reeling from the primary elections/feeling the Bern, it’s important not to lose sight of the big-picture stuff in the Eleventh Hour.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is an undisputed champion of women’s rights and human rights. She believes that Black Lives Matter. She doesn’t think climate change is some sugar-puff theory. And she has experience in the national security arena too (as she’s noted, she was in the situation room with President Obama when a decision had to be made about Osama bin Laden. Donald Trump, meanwhile, was filming The Apprentice).

While she made some definite blunders (hello private-mail server!) and wasn’t an overwhelmingly outstanding Secretary of State by most accounts, her motives are good and her experience has shown she is willing to learn from her mistakes.

I’m not going to go into all the negatives about Donald Trump because so many journalists and bloggers have already done this. I don’t think he’s the scum of the Earth, but I do believe there are two things that make him particularly unfit for the Commander in Chief post: 1.) his lack of any kind of political experience; and 2.) his volatile temperament.

With that in mind, I’m with Her all the way!

If you’re still unsettled about casting your vote for HRC, I would suggest starting with the other local and state races.

Yesterday Cristin McCarthy Vahey became the first politician in my approximately 20 years of voting eligibility to knock on my front door. It was like being visited by a rockstar! She and I chatted in the chilly weather about everything from where she bought her jacket (she likes the ethics of the company that makes them), to education and the healthcare crisis, to her concern for the social and economic wellbeing of our shared community. Cristin is a mom of 3 and social worker who supports Democratic principles, and she’s also someone who cares about my day-to-day life (she really empathized when I told her about the challenges about being a freelance-writer mom with two young children).

Were I not paying attention to local politics, I’d know very little about Cristin McCarthy Vahey.

Lest you believe that I’m only supporting Democrats, let it be known that I absolutely give my support to good Republicans. One of these is State Senator Tony Hwang. Although I’m considering his opponent Phil Dwyer, I’m still leaning Hwang. I really really want to vote 100% Democrat — and I still might do this — but from what I can tell, Hwang is a solid and friendly GOP-er who cares about the issues all parents care about (like school safety and the environment). One day, I ran into him at my local Starbucks, and asked him about what he actually did over the last four years, and he explained ever so patiently how he introduced new legislation to increase the penalties for when a bomb threat involves a preschool, K-12 school, or an institution of higher education. The new law makes threats felonies that would result in a prison sentence.

Whoever you vote for, vote. You can’t complain about who wins if you don’t show up to voice your opinion!