Carnie Wilson Talks Music, Motherhood, and Mental Health

The minute I meet Carnie Wilson, I know that she gets me. 

It’s not just that she’s a Gen X musician and mother with the world’s most endearing cackle and possibly the grittiest coming-of-age story I’ve heard in a while. And it’s not just because the her pop-vocal group Wilson Phillips’ 1990 album was my first compact disc, when I was 13 or 14 (right after my dad bought our family’s first CD player!). Or because my mom friends and I still talk about that surprise Wilson Phillips scene in Bridesmaids. 

All of these things make for a fun conversation. But it’s her authenticity that truly wins me over.

Carnie Wilson wears her vulnerabilities proudly, the battle scars of a constant cycle of hitting bottom and rising up again. She’s come a long way in the four decades since forming Wilson Phillips with her younger sister, Wendy, and their childhood friend Chynna Phillips (all three have parents in legacy bands The Beach Boys and The Mamas and The Papas). Today, the musician mom of daughters Lola (21) and Lucy (16) Bonfiglio, with husband Rob Bonfiglio, is a vocal storyteller who openly shares her struggles with body shaming, sobriety, and living in the spotlight. 

She’s also a firecracker, equal parts hilarious and emotional, and glowing with hard-earned gratitude. 

One can’t help but want to bask in that glow, especially anyone who’s struggled with alcohol, drugs, or compulsive eating (including this writer). The deeper I go into my conversation with Carnie, the more I can tell that she’s genuinely rooting hard for me to worry less about about my weight or my age, and focus more of my energy on honing my craft. 

“I have 40 years of being in this business, and every decade I became more and more aware of what I wanted, the boundaries that I’ve laid out, the people I want to surround myself with, and then, also, tolerance,” Carnie tells Rockmommy. “And at this point, I realize, back when I started [with Wilson Phillips], I was so self-conscious because record companies made me feel that way. I clearly looked different than Wendy and Chynna … but at some point I just didn’t give a shit what anybody thinks about it!” 

Yet Carnie found her resilience tested in 2025, amid the loss of her father, Beach Boys co-founder Brian Wilson, who passed away last June at age 82. 

“With a snap, I can just burst into tears,” says Carnie. “Music has always been emotional. And since Daddy has passed away, it’s just been hard … it’s hard to talk about, it’s hard to think about the music without getting emotional.”  

In the 11 months since her dad’s passing Carnie has thrown herself into service. She’s a mental health advocate and a spokeswoman for Neurocrine Biosciences, which makes medications for individuals suffering from Tardive dyskinesia (TD), a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary, repetitive movements. She prioritizes her of recovery from drugs and alcohol, and uses her experience to help others stay sober. 

And in January, she inspired thousands of aspiring musicians as the featured honoree and performer at the 14th Annual She Rocks Awards event held during The NAMM Show in Anaheim.

So how is she passing on her wisdom to the next generation, including her own musician daughters, who are living in the era of digital media? 

I spoke with Carnie in April to find out. 

Rockmommy (Marisa Torrieri Bloom): Hi Carnie! I need to tell you is that the first CD I ever got was the Wilson Phillips CD, when I was 13 or 14. It was, like, the end of my innocence! My virgin years!

Carnie Wilson: I love it! 

Rockmommy: You’ve come a long way as an artist. When did you decide you wanted to sing professionally? I know you started out loving harmonies, but was there a point when you were like, 8,10, 12? 

Carnie Wilson: Well, I wanted to be an actress. When I was in high school I had terrible grades and I just wanted to just get the hell out of high school and I wanted to graduate, and I barely graduated. The teachers were so sweet — I went to a small private school from second grade on. When I was on the stage, acting and singing, I was in my glory … and they could tell… I had expressed to them, ‘I don’t even know how to write a thesis. I don’t want to go to college, I want to act and sing.’ So, actually, the minute I got out of high school, I got an agent to do some acting, but at the same time, we started performing Wilson Phillips when I was 18. 

The minute my mom found out the three of us were singing harmonies, she’s like, ‘There’s something about your sound that’s really gorgeous! You’ve got to do something about that!’ And we called Chynna’s mom, and we went from there. So at 18 is when I decided, ‘you know what? I think I want to make this a career!’ 

Rockmommy: That’s so cool! You mainly sing low harmonies with Wilson Phillips, right? 

Carnie Wilson: Most of the time, yes. Live it would be that but on our [studio] records it was different. We were jumping all over the place. Somebody would take the high in the middle, and then we come in and back up and double each other … it was complex and a lot of tracks. But yeah, I mean, I’m an alto, just normally. Wendy sings real high and Chynna never really knew how to sing harmonies so we just stuck her in the middle! 

Rockmommy: By the way, it is very hard to find videos of you singing solo. I had to go on some like random Reddit thread to find the duo you did in 1994 with your father.

Carnie Wilson: Yeah, the video exists. I had some solo projects, but, yeah, singing alone myself, it’s a rare thing. I’ve done it over the years, but I prefer to sing harmony in an ensemble of some sort. That’s where I feel the most confident. I have stage fright … and I’m very self-conscious about singing.  Especially since I’ve had, like seven abdominal surgeries. So my whole diaphragm is weird and my breathing is different. When we go onstage together, it’s sort of like my safe place. 

Rockmommy. I’ve actually never told this in an interview, and interview a lot of people, but I’ve been in a the recovery program for binge eaters since 2004, and I just love how candid you’ve been about the stuff people have said to you.

Carnie Wilson: Of course, we get wiser as we get older. I have 40 years of being in this business. Every decade I became more and more aware of what I wanted, the boundaries that I’ve laid out, of the people I want to surround myself with, and then, also, tolerance. Just knowing who you are more and more every year. And at this point, I realize, back then, I was so self conscious because record companies made me feel that way.I clearly looked different than Wendy and Chynna. I was very overweight, Wendy and Chynna were these 5’8 gorgeous girls, and it was hard for me sometimes … but at some point I just didn’t give a shit what anybody thinks about it!

Rockmommy: You’ve had success in other areas of your life, too! You’ve found love, you found success being just exactly who you are. 

Carnie Wilson: I know, I know! Somebody sent me a picture of the day I met Rob [Bonfiglio] … I almost wanted to say to him, ‘how did you think I was attractive back then?’ [When we met] he wrote me a letter on the internet. … he wrote me this message on [an online] message board, ‘I loved your perfume, I love the butterfly clips in your hair,’ and ‘you were so cute.’ I just, said, ‘Are you single?’ It was like a magnet drawing us together. 

Rockmommy: And he also plays great guitar! Do guys have, like, jam sessions with, like, a fire in the fire pit outside? Like, is it as idyllic as I’m imagining? 

Carnie Wilson: There’s no fire pit, but we do have jam sessions! We go on tour together. It’s constant music in this house. Every single day without fail … someone’s playing the guitar, we’re singing, we’re dancing in the kitchen. 

I never really sang with my mom [although] I did get to collaborate with my dad for a many projects and it was the most fulfilling thing in the world. But I never knew that kind of joy singing with a family member [until I was] singing with my daughters. We started them at 3, 4 years old, teaching them harmonies. 

My mom taught me harmony going down Sunset Boulevard … driving by all these Beverly Hills homes, and we’re singing Bob Seger. And there’s me singing with Lola and Lucy harmonies when they’re in the bathroom, they’re sweet little girls. And they have the gift, they have the ear. They got the gift of music and talent, it’s just remarkable! 

Rockmommy:  I’ve only heard Lola that [American Idol] audition. I haven’t heard Lucy yet! 

Carnie Wilson: Lucy is a tough nut to crack. You hand her an instrument — a horn, or a guitar —and she plays it. But she stopped singing in front of anyone when she was 10. She’d rather be behind the scenes. But Lola is like, ‘get me back on stage.’

Rockmommy: I love that. How did that go?

Carnie Wilson: It was good, but it wasn’t her favorite experience. I have to be honest … there were some lovely people that she worked with but she felt like she wasn’t given her chance to express herself as an artist because there were all these singers that were like church singers, … and everybody was trying to out sing each other. Her style was more like Joni Mitchell and Kacey Musgraves, more mellow pop. She felt like she couldn’t compete, and her nerves got to her. But she’s glad she did it. It was very hard work but she got great exposure. It’s another thing she accomplished after being scared to do it!

Rockmommy: Do you think it’s harder or easier for young musicians? When Wilson Phillips came out, you were at the beginning of the decade that CDs were big. Is it harder to cut through the noise?

Carnie Wilson: Yeah, good luck paying your rent, right? I would never discourage someone … but don’t make money selling records anymore. It’s a totally different industry. 

It’s very sad and depressing and weird, but the good news is that live music will never, ever go away. So I say to people, ‘if you like to write songs, write songs.’ Perform them anywhere you can. Make the effort. Go to the cafe or the club or the venue or wherever. Make yourself heard. Sing to people. You never know what will happen. There’s many things you can do. 

Today it is a cool thing you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can write your song and release it. I don’t know how many people will hear it, maybe a little or a lot, but there’s social media and plenty of platforms to have yourself heard. I always [ask] people, what is your role? Do you just want to be rich and famous? Do you just want to do that or do you really want to be an artist? 

Rockmommy: In regards to the music industry, is it getting harder or easier, in terms of the pressures on women to be a certain size? 

Carnie Wilson: I think it is getting easier. There’s always been pressure on women for decades and decades and that’s not going to change because we’ve got the beauty industry and that whole thing. But I love to encourage people to find out who they are. I mean, it doesn’t matter what style you want to have. It doesn’t make you any less attractive or less of a woman when you’re overweight or if you’re skinny. it just is a personal preference of what you want and where you’re comfortable. 

You know, I’m not comfortable when I’m over 200 pounds. My body aches, and it hurts. It’s not healthy. So I’m always striving to be under 200 pounds. Right now, I’m not and I’m in a funk. But I’m trying — taking daily walks with Lola, I’m trying to make you know healthier dinners and meals. So it’s my Achilles heel. I’ll always be battling it. 

Image wise, the worst thing we can do is tear each other down because everybody has their own beautiful thing. I look at you, Marisa, and I see your beautiful eyes, your hair, your smile. I notice those things about people because everybody has something special about them. And we’re so wrapped up in going ‘oh, God, she has longer legs than me, she has bigger boobs’ and I’m tired of that!

Rockmommy: I would be remiss to not talk about The Beach Boys. My mother’s first concert was the Beach Boys in 1967. I saw the Beach Boys in 2023 with Mike Love and, like, all these young dudes singing your dad’s parts, your uncle’s parts. Is that weird? Or is it cool?

Carnie Wilson: Like, yeah, it’s weird. Every incarnation is different but also great. I love it when there’s an original Beach Boy there … I met my husband through Al [Jardine] so I’ll always be forever grateful. I’ve never toured with Mike [Love] or performed with Mike but I have with Al and I love it. I love his sons. Matthew is incredible, and right now they’re on the road with The Pet Sounds Band and they’re incredible. 

[SEE RELATED: Seeing The Beach Boys Was a Life-changing Experience]

Rockmommy: Do you have a favorite Beach Boys song or song by your dad?

Carnie Wilson: It’s hard to pick but I’m gonna say, it’s ’God Only Knows.’ And probably ‘Good Vibrations,’ and ‘Surf’s Up’ is up there. t’s really hard to pick because there’s, there’s a lot of gems, you know, ‘Don’t Worry, Baby’ is pretty beautiful.

Rockmommy: I’ve heard your rendition of ‘God Only Knows.’ And it is just just stunning! It must be very bittersweet to cover that now,

Carnie Wilson: With a snap, I can just burst into tears. Music has always been emotional. And since Daddy has passed away, it’s just been hard. … after he died, we did a concert 10 days later, and we were debating whether to cancel it or not, but we said, ‘you know, we got to do this for him.’ He would want us to do it. And it was one of the best, most emotional, beautiful concerts ever. People, they were on their feet for the entire show, and they sang every word, and it was extraordinary! It’s hard to it’s hard to talk about, it’s hard to think about the music without getting emotional. 

Rockmommy: Does Wilson Phillips have anything coming up? What have you done lately?

Carnie Wilson: We recently recorded Boyfriends’ by Harry Styles and it was the perfect song for us to do. I want to get everyone back in the studio but it’s hard to do it! We have upcoming shows in Grand Prairie, Texas, one in Singapore. We’re excited for the experience! Every three to five years we go into the Philippines and Bali. We do play a bit on the East Coast. I was in Florida four times in one month [recently]. I do a lot of sobriety lectures. 

Rockmommy: Can you tell me more about that? 

Carnie Wilson: I’m a paid spokesperson for Neurocrine Biosciences, and they have a medication called Ingrezza and have had a lot of success in helping treat [tardive dyskinesia] and uncontrollable movements that develop from certain antipsychotics… TD is a condition people develop, and of the 800,000 people who have it, only 40% are diagnosed.

There’s a lot of shame [with] some of the [physical] symptoms. My thing is, I don’t have TD, but I had Bell’s Palsy, and I couldn’t move my face and had to go out in public. And of course, I battled depression my whole life, OCD, addiction … it’s all mental health! The more we open up and say, ‘I’m anxious, I’m sad, I have movements and I don’t know what this is’ … the sooner we can get the help. That’s the first step.

Rockmommy: The work you’re doing to de-stigmatize these things is very important. I mean, how do you have time for this? This is a lot of work you do for other people. 

Carnie Wilson: It’s a lot. And I’m traveling, constantly. But it’s a labor of love. Oh my God, I love it! I love meeting these people, and talking to people who have TD, doing one-on-one interviews. And of course, sobriety is big for them. Many of them [developed TD] when they were addicts. But I can’t stop doing that because it’s how I treat my own depression and my own anxiety. I have to do this … It’s like, I have to go to my 12-step meetings … and I stay in the middle. Even thought it’s anonymous. My program has saved my life, and I have to give it away. I have to share it.

Rockmommy: How long have you been sober? 

Carnie Wilson: Well, I haven’t had a drink in 21 years. I did change my sobriety date, I talk about it, because I had a health scare in my uterus and I got so nervous that I wasn’t sleeping, and I got some Ambien and I loved it, because I would sleep. 

And then I renewed the prescription … because I’m a damn drug addict. Yeah, that’s me. I know myself, and I felt so guilty about it, and I feel like I was heading toward the drink. So I just changed my sobriety date, you know, but it doesn’t erase the 21 years that I have. There’s a power greater than me and one day at a time and I don’t pick up. 

Rockmommy: I get it! I mean .. When I think about my abstinence [from a similar recovery program for food], I’m like, wow, it’s been 15, 20 years … but really like I’m no better than the person who just walked in.

Carnie Wilson: The newcomer, somebody that’s new, needs our experience, our strength and our [hope] because I needed it when I first came in, so I have to share that. And you know, I devote quite a bit of time to my recovery.

Rockmommy: Your father is an extreme public figure, and you are as well. I can’t even begin to imagine how that changes the dynamics for someone like you.

Carnie Wilson: It does! But I’m used to it. That’s all I’ve known. I don’t have anything else to compare it to. But there are days when I want to go out to the market and not have somebody stare or talk to me. Well, I love people, but there are days when you just don’t want to be bothered and have more peace and quiet. 

If someone says, ‘I’m so sorry for your loss, I loved your dad. I loved their music, and I’m so sorry’ and I see that they’re so genuine, I’m sharing the grief with them. But it brings it up again! There it is in front of my face! OK, I have to feel it again. And it’s harder sometimes because I’m constantly reminded.

But I believe, and I was talking to this woman randomly sitting on an airplane about this, that it’s really important for people to talk about their grief. It’s healthy to talk about it. If you hold it in, that’s when trouble starts.

Rockmommy: Everything you’re talking about makes me think you could create a solo album! Last year, in his interview with you on his podcast The Magnificent Others, Billy Corgan offered to help write it with you! Have you thought about taking him or someone else up on that?

Carnie Wilson: Yes, I have and there are times I’ll just sit at the piano and then I’ll get distracted. But I’m really inspired by my daughter. She’s plays the guitar and she’s constantly writing and playing. Yeah, writing and playing. She’s going to school in Boston … and she’s going to major in songwriting. It’s so great. So I watch her every day be really committed to it. And of course, my husband, is constantly writing. So I just hope that maybe some people collaborate with me and we could start something. It doesn’t be a whole album, but maybe a couple of songs. 

Rockmommy: Speaking of Lola, what advice do you find yourself passing on to other aspiring musicians, or maybe mothers who do music that you think is is worth here repeating? 

Carnie Wilson: That ultimately, there really is no goal. There is no finish line with anything. And I can say that because we did experience huge success, and I experienced big failures too, so I know what it’s like to be on both ends. One feels really great and one feels really horrible. But what is the common thread of it all? It’s the music we created. Never lose the passion for what makes you happy. It’s good to have goals, but try to be realistic. You never know what is going to happen, and keeping positivity is super important. 

Interview by Marisa Torrieri Bloom, editor and founder of Rockmommy; edited by Dorothea Hunter Sönne