Britney Spears’ New Memoir Made Me Furious — and Overjoyed

I’d read tons of reviews with spoilers about Britney Spears’ memoir, ‘The Woman in Me’ when it came out in October. The biggest bombshells hit the tabloids quickly – from her abortion while dating Justin Timberlake to her dad Jamie telling her, “I’m Britney Spears now” when he became her conservator.

So when I finally cracked open the book in early November, more than a year after the #FreeBritney movement helped terminate her conservatorship, I thought I’d heard everything. I thought the autobiography would be inspiring — and that I’d be blogging something along the lines of, ‘5 things I loved about Britney Spears’ memoir.’

Only, the deeper I delved into the book, the more enraged I became.

Everyone Wanted a Piece of Her

From Britney’s earliest years to her current life, the memoir doesn’t hold back. A few details I found particularly unnerving:

• Being barred from visiting her fame-hungry husband Kevin Federline, on the set of his music video. Kevin was more obsessed with stardom than his wife. As Spears writes, ‘One time came home late and told me he’d been at a party. ‘Justin Timberlake was there!’ he said. ‘Lindsay Lohan was, too!’

• Being asked sexist, demeaning questions from credible, supposedly feminist journalists such as Diane Sawyer. People expected her to live up to her ‘forever virgin’ image. When she strayed from that narrative, she was lambasted for it.

• Having her food controlled by her father. In the summer of 2008, when I worked at the tabloid OK! Magazine, I remember editing a feature focused on Britney’s new ‘healthy’ outlook. I didn’t realize that her dad had forced her into a life of culinary piousness and redemption. The memoir exposes us to the truth. Spears details how ashamed she felt when her father forced her to adhere to a strict diet – even an occasional French fry wasn’t allowed.

• Having to defend herself for enjoying a mommy night out. There’s a telling anecdote about the time Spears went out with Paris Hilton shortly after her divorce from K-Fed. She wanted to let loose and feel good. Yet the moment she showed up at home and faced her mom, who was babysitting her kids, she was chewed out.
• Not being able to see her kids. I would go crazy if I couldn’t see my children. Yet the world cuts Spears no slack for fighting off security guards who tried to take them.

While Spears admits to hormonal moodiness and angst-ridden tirades against the paparazzi, it’s disheartening to see is judged more harshly than her male counterparts. It’s disheartening that she is continually used by people who were supposed to love her – particularly her dad, Jamie, mom Lynn Spears, and Federline. They wanted the residual benefits of her fame and earning power. They didn’t want to do the hard work of helping her.

Rooting for Britney

The memoir shows readers how Spears’ self-confidence was slowly stripped away, even as she continued to succeed professionally. It’s tragic to think about all those years she could have spent enjoying time with her young sons instead of being forced to perform and make millions to keep her family afloat.

That’s why her faith is so encouraging — how she prayed for the strength to get a new lawyer in 2019, report abuse by her father, and move on from relationships that no longer are serving her. To see some of the positives that have come out of 2022 and 2023, even with her most recent divorce, is heartwarming.

I hope she can reconcile with her kids and have a relationship. I also hope that the next time she makes music, she does it on her own terms, with her own teams.

Marisa Torrieri Bloom is the editor and founder of Rockmommy.