Today, I said to myself, “I will write this blog if it kills me.”
Of course, I’m being dramatic. But I hate missing deadlines. And I’ve missed every single self-imposed deadline I’ve given myself to write this blog, my tribute to being a “rock mommy,” to balancing everything. But honestly, these days I’m just trying to stay afloat.
Being a mom of two — one of whom just turned two the other day — is harder than I thought. Especially because I don’t have much downtime nor a nanny for one kid while I spend time with the other. When my kids are napping, I’m usually cleaning or catching up on bills.
The only time I’m making to “rock” lately is during Nathan’s swim class. We sing “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” At night, I see my child-free friends posting shout-outs to their bands as I rub my eyes and turn on the TV because I’m too tired to do anything.
It is impossible to do everything perfectly — work out, freelance, cook, clean, make time for my husband, shower regularly, pay bills, play guitar occasionally, and keep up with friends and family — yet I feel immensely pressured to keep up with all of these things while caring for two young sons. I know I should be gentle on myself, but dammit — I want it all!!
Logan is growing so big, so fast. He’s gotta be at least 15 pounds, and his cute, chubby little body is busting out of those six-month clothes (he isn’t even six months old yet!). He giggles a lot, and is such a pleasant baby. I really struck gold with that one.
Nathan is also a joy in the best way a toddler can be. He laughs, runs around, asks questions, snuggles with his toys, loves his baby brother, and does hundreds of adorable things every week. I couldn’t ask for a better firstborn — though his screaming tantrums are totally testing my patience lately.
I hope I can summon the energy to write about something more interesting, and soon. I am, after all, a writer by trade. But today, it’s either I write or I get outside and enjoy the sun while my awesome mother in law babysits. It’s only summer for a few months out of the year in frosty New England. So spending time in the sun is certainly a must. Over and out.